29. Moms: Your behind-the-scenes contributions are essential!

Have you ever stopped to consider the myriad tasks that unfold behind the scenes of our busy lives as mothers? This week on Her Next Chapters, I take a moment to reflect on the often-unseen world of "invisible labor" we contribute to our families. Things we do, both big and small, that we ourselves don't even recognize how important they are. 

As we head into new chapters in our lives, whether an empty nest or a new job, or both, taking an inventory of some of the amazing things we've done, even if quietly and in the background, can help build our confidence for whatever is next. It's time to see and acknowledge our accomplishments. 

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Transcript

Christina Kohl: 0:03

Hi and welcome to Her Next Chapter's podcast. I'm your host, Christina Kohl. I'm a mom of three and soon to be an empty nester. I'm also a certified HR pro who restarted my career after being a stay-at-home mom for over a decade. I created this podcast to connect with moms who have an empty nest on the horizon and are wanting to redefine their identity outside of motherhood, which might include a job search. On this show, we'll have raw conversations about our ever-changing roles as moms. We'll hear from women who restarted their careers and share tips for a job search after a career break. So if that's you, you're in the right place. Friend, let's get started. Hi, friends, welcome to this week's episode.

Christina Kohl: 0:51

Today I wanted to talk about invisible labor, and if you are a mom, you might have a hint of what I mean by this. There's so many little things that we do, and it's invisible because we just do it, it just gets done, and I'm not necessarily talking about doing the laundry or cleaning house or making meals Of course there's all of that too. I'm talking about those other things that are truly unseen and that we ourselves may not even recognize or value, but are really, really important For context. I'm recording this towards the end of April, I just sent out a whole bunch of graduation announcements and graduation party invitations for my youngest son, alex, for his high school graduation, and we will officially be a family with no children in K through 12. So for the first time ever well, first time since we began our family, I guess. Anyway, while I was doing this exercise of getting the envelopes and everything ready, my husband asked me that day. He's like what do you want to do today? And I looked up from the table with all of these envelopes and invitations and everything spread out and I looked at him and said, well, I'm doing it this, I'm getting these invites out, and it's just one of those things that, at least in my household, that mom, as a mom, I just do and I'm looking at it as I'm addressing. You know I had already gone through our address list and printed everything you know, formatted the envelopes, got everything printed. You had to check the printer, make sure everything's printing correctly. And then I had different party invites for people Different mailings are sitting for out of town versus in town and made sure that I was inviting people that my son knows and not just mom and dad's friends, of course mom and dad's friends too. But you know, just really being thoughtful about the invitation list, I'd already been thoughtful about like, when are we going to have the party? Are we going to serve a meal? What is the meal going to be, where are we going to have it? All of those things, and it's just they all kind of add up right, this invisible labor, no-transcript.

Christina Kohl: 3:10

I realized that not only did I create the invitations, so I did them in Canva. I've gotten to know Canva this past year, but maybe you can relate to all the components that go into this one project. I created the invitation for the party and had my son's senior portrait on there and let him pick the one that he liked the best. And then I realized, well, wait a minute, I also scheduled the photographer last fall. Here in Colorado we tend to do the senior portraits in the fall and so I had scheduled that and went with him, helped picked out the clothes, went with him for his favorites and created a design for the party invitation and created a design for the one that was sent to people out of state and sent it to be printed, drove to pick them up and then went through all the address lists and then got all the envelopes printed and then did all the little stuffing of everything and attaching his name card to the formal graduation announcement, and I was like, well, not only that, I actually ordered the graduation announcements three or four months ago.

Christina Kohl: 4:29

So all these little things add up, that's a lot of time invested. And please don't misread this, it's not a complaint. I did it gladly, from my heart and just wanted to acknowledge that and that particular project and all the other things that we, as women in particular, do for our families. And it's invisible because we just do it and we don't't really I don't give a lot of thought to it. Yes, it took time, a labor of love, and I'm so proud of my son and I'm so happy to be able to do this for him and I did it for my other two kids too.

Christina Kohl: 5:06

Everything I just laid out there, and this is on top of having a business and on top of working full time, and it's just all those things that we do that we probably don't even give ourselves credit for. Maybe our spouse or maybe our children will thank us, but I think it's something for me. Personally, I don't even recognize that as an accomplishment. I know you do countless things like this as well, things that are just kind of on autopilot, whether it's mailing the Christmas cards, doing the stocking stuffers, filling the Easter baskets, making sure there's eggs in the house for boiling hard-boiled eggs for decorating for Easter, whatever. It is all those little things that fill up your to-do list that just kind of come on autopilot. Yeah, you may not be recognizing yourself, but I want us to take a moment to recognize each other. Well done, mom. Well done, and know that it is valued and appreciated and important. It's important work that you are doing.

Christina Kohl: 6:15

So, my friends, the reason that I wanted to talk about this invisible labor that we do is that it just became so apparent to me when I was working on all of those graduation announcements and party invites, how much effort and time that that actually took, over the course of several months, and normally I don't even think twice about that and I wonder if, for you and for me, what else it is that we're doing, that we're just kind of on autopilot and we don't even give ourselves enough credit for it. We don't recognize it. It's just kind of like something that you're really naturally good at and you're like, oh, that's not a big deal, but you don't realize that that's a special gift and not everybody can do those things, and so, really, I hope that this is an opportunity for us to kind of take inventory and realize how awesome we really are and all the things that we do that are just you know, like I said, on autopilot, and if you are entering a new chapter in your life whether that's going back to work or your kids are getting older and your role as a mom is changing It'd be great to take an inventory of all of the amazing things you've done, whether that's navigating medical challenges, helping your kids with their college decisions, navigating moves across the country there's just so many things that we do. Moves across the country, there's just so many things that we do. But to really be introspective and help us enter this next chapter of our lives with confidence, if we can do all of these things and do them with excellence, what else can we do? Whatever life throws at us, whatever is next, we can do it, because we've done great things already.

Christina Kohl: 8:05

For those of you who are in a job search, in the beginnings of a job search, one of the things that is most critical to your success is your belief in yourself and in believing in yourself. You have to recognize all of these things that you've done, that because it's invisible labor, even to yourself you may not even think of it or acknowledge it. So it's really important to kind of do an inventory of how much you've accomplished through your time at home with your kids and your volunteering opportunities and engaging in the community and in your work, your paid jobs that you've had in the past, and don't sell yourself short. Really take the opportunity to celebrate all the things that you've done and use that confidence and that inner belief and that inner knowing of you're capable of doing whatever it is that your heart desires. So that is my wish for you and want you to enter your next chapter with excitement.

Christina Kohl: 9:14

All right, well, that's all I've got for this week. Hope it was helpful. As always, have a great week. We'll talk to you next week. Thank you so much for listening today. I hope this episode hit home for you and, if you haven't already, be sure to connect with me on LinkedIn and say hello so I can personally thank you for listening. Until next time, remember your story is uniquely your own and your next chapters are ready to begin.