37. Navigating Grief with Lessons from a Beloved Tale

What if you could find strength and resilience in the most unexpected places? Join me  as I share a deeply personal story of saying goodbye to my cherished dog, Ryder, who has been my steadfast companion and co-host through many podcast episodes. In this heartfelt episode, I reflect on the poignant lessons from the children's book "We're Going on a Bear Hunt" and how its themes of facing life's challenges head-on mirror my family's journey through grief and loss.

Through my grief, I explore how the inevitability of going "through" our struggles, rather than avoiding them, has brought me solace and understanding. This episode is a tribute to Ryder's memory and a message of hope for anyone facing similar heart-wrenching decisions. Tune in for a narrative that underscores the importance of resilience, the power of moving through life's toughest moments, and the unexpected wisdom found in a beloved children's tale.

We're Going on a Bear Hunt, by Michael Rosen
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We're going on a bear hunt text

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Transcript

Christina Kohl 0:03

Hi and welcome to Her Next Chapter's podcast . I'm your host , C hristina Kohl . I'm a mom of three and soon to be an empty nester . I'm also a certified HR pro who restarted my career after being a stay-at-home mom for over a decade . I created this podcast to connect with moms who have an empty nest on the horizon and are wanting to redefine their identity outside of motherhood , which might include a job search . On this show we'll have raw conversations about our ever-changing roles as moms . We'll hear from women who restarted their careers and share tips for a job search after a career break . So if that's you , you're in the right place . Friend , let's get started .

Christina Kohl 0:48

RThis friends , today on the podcast it's going to be a little different messaging than normal . What you don't know is that pretty much every podcast episode until today has had a co-host , not just a guest . A co-host who's usually in the room with me when I record . This would be my dog , ryder , and today he's not joining me because yesterday was his last day . We said goodbye to my sweet boy . He's 12 and a half and I promise this does have a positive message , so stay with me . I'm doing my best to not cry because I miss him terribly .

Christina Kohl 1:37

This has been a decision a long time coming and if you are facing the decision like this , this , you might want to come back and listen later when making this really difficult decision to say goodbye to my beloved pet companion . What came to mind the night before actually was and if you're a parent , you're going to know this book we're going on a bear hunt . Let me see if I can pull it up and see who the author is . I want to give credit . Oh , I don't have it here , but I will definitely give credit in the show notes and send a link . But if you know the story , we're going on a bear hunt , we're going to catch a big one . What a beautiful day . We're not scared .

Christina Kohl 2:30

And then the kids and the family and the story . They run into all kinds of challenges and they can't go over it . They can't go under it and they realize they have to go through it . So that's what was coming to my mind of all things when making this decision around saying goodbye to my beloved companion writer , is that I can't go under it . I can't go over it . This is a life experience . I have to go through it and a decision that we extended as long as possible , but really just got to the point where it was time .

Christina Kohl 3:14

And what I didn't realize about this book all the times the many , many , many times , with expression and sound effects and everything else of reading it to my kids over and over , is how much the story teaches resilience story . They go on this adventure to find a bear , which you know . I guess you got to think about making sure that you have the right goals in mind when you set your goals and set out , because you might actually find what you're looking for . And in the story they do find a bear and run back and run back home . But along the way life happens , obstacles come up and those obstacles they can't go over them . They can't go under them , no matter how much they want to avoid them . The only way is to go through them . And this family and the story they do go through them , just like my family and my story yesterday went through this experience of saying goodbye to our beloved pet . And the going through is messy and sometimes painful but we do get through it . And as I am living in my grief and supporting my family and their grief , I know it's messy but we will get through it . And in the story , if you remember , if this is one that you've read or if not , I'll share . But when they find the bear , they get scared and they run back home and so they go through all of it again .

Christina Kohl 4:59

But again , I never realized this when I was reading this story to my kids all those years ago , and all those multiple , multiple times . How it teaches the resilience . They can't go over it , they can't go under it . So they go through it and it's messy , through the grass , it's swishy-swashy , swishy-swashy , and then through the river , splash-splash , splash-splash , and then , of course , through the mud , squelch-squirch , squelch-squirch , and through the forest , stumble-trip , stumble-trip , and the snowstorm woo-woo-woo . I feel so silly , but there's the wind of the snowstorm . I feel so silly , but the wind of the snowstorm , and then into the cave , tiptoe , tiptoe .

Christina Kohl 5:47

So I know over the next well , the coming days , months , weeks , whatever I'll be experiencing a lot of these uncomfortable , icky feelings of the squelch and scorch through the mud of grief as we start this next chapter in our family life , without Ryder being a part of it . And I'm grateful to have this story to fall back on to remind me how badly I wanted to go over it . I wanted just to go under it and be done with it , but I have to go over it . I wanted just to go under it and be done with it , but I have to go through it . This and so many other things in life that we have to go through , and they make us stronger and we do come out the other side and hopefully we've learned along the way and the story of the bear hunt . I hope they learned to be more careful about what they set their sights on and to not go chasing bears anymore .

Christina Kohl 6:48

Well , anyway , those are my insights on this day and I hope it's insightful for you . And you know , like I said , I'll put a link whatever link I can find for the show notes of the actual story of going on a bear hunt , and maybe this brings back some memories for you as well and a reminder we are resilient , we go through things and we're resilient and we go through the next thing and then the next thing and we can do hard things . All right , that's it for today , my friends . I'll talk to you next week . Thank you so much for listening today . I hope this episode hit home for you and , if you haven't already , be sure to connect with me on LinkedIn and say hello , so I can personally thank you for listening . Until next time , remember , your story is uniquely your own , and your next chapters are ready to begin .