37. Navigating Grief with Lessons from a Beloved Tale

What if you could find strength and resilience in the most unexpected places? Join me  as I share a deeply personal story of saying goodbye to my cherished dog, Ryder, who has been my steadfast companion and co-host through many podcast episodes. In this heartfelt episode, I reflect on the poignant lessons from the children's book "We're Going on a Bear Hunt" and how its themes of facing life's challenges head-on mirror my family's journey through grief and loss.

Through my grief, I explore how the inevitability of going "through" our struggles, rather than avoiding them, has brought me solace and understanding. This episode is a tribute to Ryder's memory and a message of hope for anyone facing similar heart-wrenching decisions. Tune in for a narrative that underscores the importance of resilience, the power of moving through life's toughest moments, and the unexpected wisdom found in a beloved children's tale.

We're Going on a Bear Hunt, by Michael Rosen
Goodreads description
We're going on a bear hunt text

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Transcript

Christina Kohl: 0:03

Hi and welcome to Her Next Chapter's podcast. I'm your host, C hristina Kohl. I'm a mom of three and soon to be an empty nester. I'm also a certified HR pro who restarted my career after being a stay-at-home mom for over a decade. I created this podcast to connect with moms who have an empty nest on the horizon and are wanting to redefine their identity outside of motherhood, which might include a job search. On this show we'll have raw conversations about our ever-changing roles as moms. We'll hear from women who restarted their careers and share tips for a job search after a career break. So if that's you, you're in the right place. Friend, let's get started.

Christina Kohl: 0:48

RThis friends, today on the podcast it's going to be a little different messaging than normal. What you don't know is that pretty much every podcast episode until today has had a co-host, not just a guest. A co-host who's usually in the room with me when I record. This would be my dog, ryder, and today he's not joining me because yesterday was his last day. We said goodbye to my sweet boy. He's 12 and a half and I promise this does have a positive message, so stay with me. I'm doing my best to not cry because I miss him terribly.

Christina Kohl: 1:37

This has been a decision a long time coming and if you are facing the decision like this, this, you might want to come back and listen later when making this really difficult decision to say goodbye to my beloved pet companion. What came to mind the night before actually was and if you're a parent, you're going to know this book we're going on a bear hunt. Let me see if I can pull it up and see who the author is. I want to give credit. Oh, I don't have it here, but I will definitely give credit in the show notes and send a link. But if you know the story, we're going on a bear hunt, we're going to catch a big one. What a beautiful day. We're not scared.

Christina Kohl: 2:30

And then the kids and the family and the story. They run into all kinds of challenges and they can't go over it. They can't go under it and they realize they have to go through it. So that's what was coming to my mind of all things when making this decision around saying goodbye to my beloved companion writer, is that I can't go under it. I can't go over it. This is a life experience. I have to go through it and a decision that we extended as long as possible, but really just got to the point where it was time.

Christina Kohl: 3:14

And what I didn't realize about this book all the times the many, many, many times, with expression and sound effects and everything else of reading it to my kids over and over, is how much the story teaches resilience story. They go on this adventure to find a bear, which you know. I guess you got to think about making sure that you have the right goals in mind when you set your goals and set out, because you might actually find what you're looking for. And in the story they do find a bear and run back and run back home. But along the way life happens, obstacles come up and those obstacles they can't go over them. They can't go under them, no matter how much they want to avoid them. The only way is to go through them. And this family and the story they do go through them, just like my family and my story yesterday went through this experience of saying goodbye to our beloved pet. And the going through is messy and sometimes painful but we do get through it. And as I am living in my grief and supporting my family and their grief, I know it's messy but we will get through it. And in the story, if you remember, if this is one that you've read or if not, I'll share. But when they find the bear, they get scared and they run back home and so they go through all of it again.

Christina Kohl: 4:59

But again, I never realized this when I was reading this story to my kids all those years ago, and all those multiple, multiple times. How it teaches the resilience. They can't go over it, they can't go under it. So they go through it and it's messy, through the grass, it's swishy-swashy, swishy-swashy, and then through the river, splash-splash, splash-splash, and then, of course, through the mud, squelch-squirch, squelch-squirch, and through the forest, stumble-trip, stumble-trip, and the snowstorm woo-woo-woo. I feel so silly, but there's the wind of the snowstorm. I feel so silly, but the wind of the snowstorm, and then into the cave, tiptoe, tiptoe.

Christina Kohl: 5:47

So I know over the next well, the coming days, months, weeks, whatever I'll be experiencing a lot of these uncomfortable, icky feelings of the squelch and scorch through the mud of grief as we start this next chapter in our family life, without Ryder being a part of it. And I'm grateful to have this story to fall back on to remind me how badly I wanted to go over it. I wanted just to go under it and be done with it, but I have to go over it. I wanted just to go under it and be done with it, but I have to go through it. This and so many other things in life that we have to go through, and they make us stronger and we do come out the other side and hopefully we've learned along the way and the story of the bear hunt. I hope they learned to be more careful about what they set their sights on and to not go chasing bears anymore.

Christina Kohl: 6:48

Well, anyway, those are my insights on this day and I hope it's insightful for you. And you know, like I said, I'll put a link whatever link I can find for the show notes of the actual story of going on a bear hunt, and maybe this brings back some memories for you as well and a reminder we are resilient, we go through things and we're resilient and we go through the next thing and then the next thing and we can do hard things. All right, that's it for today, my friends. I'll talk to you next week. Thank you so much for listening today. I hope this episode hit home for you and, if you haven't already, be sure to connect with me on LinkedIn and say hello, so I can personally thank you for listening. Until next time, remember, your story is uniquely your own, and your next chapters are ready to begin.