Her Next Chapters

53. "ADHD is Awesome" Book: Surprising Insights

• Christina Kohl

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In honor of ADHD Awareness Month in October, I took the time to listen to "ADHD is Awesome" by Penn and Kim Holderness. One of my kids was diagnosed not too long ago, and being a fan of the Holderness Family, I knew their book would be both entertaining and useful.

I wasn't disappointed. I was surprised however by how much I personally identified with so many ADHD symptoms, especially with my current life changes. Becoming an entrepreneur leaves me to set my own schedule (which I love!) and combined with becoming a (semi-empty) nester with no kids in K-12 education, the rythyms and structure of daily life have changed significantly this past year.

I don't have a diagnosis of ADHD, but I found several strategies that Penn and Kim talked about to be immediately useful. From focusing on making one change at a time, to gamifying an activity (think: beat the clock), to having small, immediate rewards, I've already put these into practice for myself and will be sharing them with my kiddo and ADHD friends.

If you are interested in getting a copy of the book, you can grab it HERE.
You can also follow the Holderness Family on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheHoldernessfamily

Oh - it's also Chocolate Appreciation week (Oct 14-20, 2024). You're welcome!

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Send me an email ---> christina@hernextchapters.com
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Christina Kohl:

Hi and welcome to Her Next Chapter's podcast. I'm your host, hristina Cole. I'm a mom of three and soon to be an empty nester. I'm also a certified HR pro who restarted my career after being a stay-at-home mom for over a decade. I created this podcast to connect with moms who have an empty nest on the horizon and are wanting to redefine their identity outside of motherhood, which might include a job search. On this show, we'll have raw conversations about our ever-changing roles as moms. We'll hear from women who restarted their careers and share tips for a job search after a career break. So if that's you, you're in the right place. Friend, let's get started.

Christina Kohl:

Hey, everyone, and welcome to this week's episode of Her Next Chapters. As always, so excited to have you here. So, if you're listening in real time, this episode is being published on October 16th and it is ADHD Awareness Month in October. So you know all those months of all your awareness months. In case you're curious, oOctober is Disability Employment Awareness Month. It is also Breast Cancer Awareness Month and it is ADHD Awareness Month, and one of the things that I want to talk about is the ADHD awareness. And before we get into that, just a little side note. So not only are there awareness months, but there are days and weeks as well, and so one of my favorites I just found this out the week that I'm in right now, as I'm recording, is chocolate week, which is October 14th to October 20th, in case you needed an excuse to eat chocolate. And also during chocolate week is global hand-washing day, that is on October 15th, in case you needed an excuse to eat chocolate. And also during chocolate week is Global Hand Washing Day, that is on October 15th, in case you're curious. So make sure, if you're eating chocolate this week, that you wash your hands afterwards and get them all clean. And then, anyway, I want to get back to the ADHD Awareness Month. Of course, I could talk about any of these, but this one is a little more personal and it's home, and one of my kids was diagnosed about a year or so ago by their own desire, their own like hey, mom, I think I might have this and we saw a doctor, and it turns out they do doctor, and it turns out they do. And just for my kids' privacy, I'm not going to say which one of my kids is affected by this, but it's been really eye-opening to learn more about ADHD, what it is and what it isn't and it helps me understand my kid a whole lot better and my goal to support them. I just finished listening to I was going to say read, but I listened to it it's the ADHD is Awesome.

Christina Kohl:

The book by Penn and Kim Holderness and I don't know if you know the Holderness family, but they do all these really fun videos. They're everywhere. They're on Facebook. They've got a podcast there on YouTube. I'll put a link to whatever resources I can find of theirs into the show notes. But they're just a really fun couple and they do all these great, you know funny videos and parodies and all of that. So I thought you know, if I'm going to learn about ADHD, then I want to learn from them. So Penn it's P-E-N-N is his name, Penn has ADHD and then obviously Kim is his wife and it's great because they, in the audio book anyway, I haven't seen the physical book, but audiobook the it's like they're just having the conversation, sometimes with each other, sometimes with the listener, but it just really makes it easy and enjoyable to get through a whole nonfiction book.

Christina Kohl:

I got through the whole book within about a week of listening to it, just because it's so entertaining and I learned so much. And the other thing not only is one of my kids diagnosed with it, so is a really close friend of theirs as well that we spend a lot of time with. And as I learn more about it and I see how it shows up for them, for the people that I know and care about in my life, I've also started to see and recognize some of these things, these symptoms, in myself. So I don't know if you can relate to that. I think a lot of people are like oh, I just had an ADHD moment, whether we have it or not, and I have not been diagnosed and I don't really plan to get a diagnosis. But in learning how to support those around me, it's not going to hurt if I pick up a few good habits for myself too, right? So first of all, one of the things that was really insightful in listening to the book the ADHD is awesome book. So anytime you hear me talk about book the rest of this podcast, that's the book I'm talking about.

Christina Kohl:

One of the things that was really interesting is that ADHD it's not just about inattention, the lack of ability to pay attention, it's more, and this is how I remember hearing Penn explain it. It's more that he pays attention to everything. Everything is coming in and there's not a filter and it makes it hard to focus on what they need to focus on, because they're hearing everything inside. The ADHD brain is just more taking in all the senses and it's just hard to focus on the important stuff. And so that was really eye-opening for me. I hadn't heard that before and, again, I haven't really studied it before or paid attention until this past year or so. And then there's the hyperactivity and impulsivity. My child was one in the classroom that was very quiet and it was just a surprise to me because I never heard anything from teachers.

Christina Kohl:

You think of someone who has ADHD as a typical. You know they're jumping around in their seat. They can't sit still, they're just a wiggle worm. And that wasn't my kid, that's not how they showed up at school. And I was just so surprised in talking to the doctor like what, what do you mean this? You know my kid doesn't wiggle around like that. What are we talking about? The doctor said yeah, but that's the physical part. Inside their brain, their mind, their thoughts are jumping around like crazy and that's making it hard to focus. So that was really eye-opening for me.

Christina Kohl:

And I know I can be that way at times too, where I just have all kinds of thoughts, especially at night when I'm trying to go to sleep. And then my husband would agree with these next two: interrupting others, because I try not to, but sometimes I just get so excited about what I want to say. And then this one especially I know John would weigh in on answering questions before they are fully asked, finish other people's sentences or speak when it's not their turn of conversation. I have to admit that I am guilty of that at times and I'm kind of you know, believe it or not, here I am doing a podcast, but I'm kind of on the shy, quiet, introverted side of things. So you know, to hear that I would be interrupting someone is kind of like unusual, but when you know it's here at home and when my husband, when I answer a question before the fully asked, he'll pivot the question into something totally different. Usually I'm anticipating correctly, but he'll pivot it just to kind of prove that I like didn't Let him finish.

Christina Kohl:

So anyway, things that I'm acknowledging in myself and, you know, trying to work on and be more aware of just awareness is huge and again, it's helping me understand the people that in the life that I care about that do have a diagnosis and you know, some growth for me too. And then that hyper focus, part of it. That is one of the plus sides and pin talks a lot about this in the book like the bonuses, the advantages of the ADHD brain, and one of them is that hyper focus when the topic is of interest to the person that is doing the work. So when it's interesting, there's hyper-focus. And for me, sometimes when I'm you know, I might be late working on a project and the next thing I know it's like three in the morning, not kidding. And then there's other times like, no matter how much I want to focus on just getting that thing done, I just can't. I just because it's not something I'm really excited about. But once I get in that flow and I don't know if this is ADHD or not, I'm just talking about my personal experience, um, and reflecting on these that I can't see that in myself that I get that really hyper focus. And other times I just, no matter what, I just can't get it done. And one thing I was listening to another podcast I'll have to see if I can find which one that was to direct you all to and if you're interested but they had talked about more about midlife.

Christina Kohl:

So I'm in a season where K through 12 this education is no longer part of our family life. All the kids are in college and we just have a completely different rhythm of family life. So, as an entrepreneur, I control my schedule and I decide what's important and when and what projects I'm going to do, and all of that. So my structure is like gone. I have to create my own structure and that might be why, if I do in fact have ADHD, why it hasn't really been too much of an issue before, because I've had built-in structure for me, even if it was just the K-12 rhythm of school life, as well as reporting to a job. There are certain rhythms, honestly, of eight to five going to work and so everything's kind of mapped out and for me I need to create my own map, which has been really interesting. So anyway, again, I'm not trying to self-diagnose, I'm trying to use tools to help myself, and if the ADHD type of tools can help, then why not? Let's use them. So some of the tools and there's a lot in the book. Like I said, it is hours long, great, entertaining, listening. Kevin Penn did a great job of entertaining and holding attention.

Christina Kohl:

Some of the strategies that I picked up that I think are helpful for one. Just to pick one thing at a time. I tend to want to do, like change five things at once. Okay, I'm going to start getting up early. I'm going to walk the dog every morning. I'm going to journal and meditate, all before I sit down at the computer. Okay, well, that's a lot when I haven't been doing any of those. So what I'm doing instead is I've been starting to walk the dog and that's probably been for about a month Pretty much every morning, I'd say six days a week. She and I are going for a walk before I come into my office and work on my computer. So layering one thing at a time instead of all five things. So maybe I'll add something else next month. So that's my language strategy just to focus on one thing at a time.

Christina Kohl:

And the other thing that really stood out was the importance of rewards and the example of okay, if I go to the gym three days a week and I eat healthy, then in six months I'm going to be at my goal weight and fit into my new jeans. Well, that reward is a little too far away and I love what Penn talked about having the rewards being immediate, like small but immediate, and I think that makes a lot of sense. You know whether it's for our kids or for ourselves and, again, whether you have ADHD or not, I think this is valuable. So build in small rewards so like for myself. I don't know if it's a reward, it might be more habit pairing, but really the only time I listen to a podcast is when I'm on those walks with my dog, and it's kind of a pairing. But it's also a reward. Like I go on the walk and I get to listen to a podcast or a book. That's actually how I listened to that book in a week because I was listening while I was walking the dog, and so there's that's pairing. I guess it's not a reward.

Christina Kohl:

All those little rewards I can think of are food-based, so I didn't mention it is National Chocolate Week, so my little rewards and I have a sugar-free chocolate bar it's Lily's brand if you're interested, and it is so creamy and good, and I'll have like a little, one little tiny square which is like I don't know three quarters of an inch by half an inch or something, and I'll use that as a reward for myself at times. But like, okay, empty the dishes first, after the dishwasher is empty, then you can have a square of a chocolate. That's a small reward and it's immediate, so I don't have to wait. Okay, if I do everything on the list all day long and I do it every week, then every day this week, then I get a big dessert or something that's special. It's like, no, I'm having literally a little square of chocolate after doing a little task. And the other thing and actually I used this was it this morning.

Christina Kohl:

I think I did it this morning when I had the microwave going to heat up it was actually being heated at my lunch and it was like going for like a minute and a half, I'm like okay, the dishwasher needs to be emptied, let me see if I can beat the microwave. And I used to do the bottom part. I didn't dare do the whole dishwasher in the minute and a half, and so I was rushing to get it emptied and I didn't even want to look at the clock because that would slow me down. The microwave beat me by about three seconds. That got me to focus and I do something. That's a small, easy task. Then we'll be like I don't think I can take the dishwasher. That's a lot of work. That was something that I learned from the book.

Christina Kohl:

Setting those little making, gamifying things, making a game Can I beat that? Can I do this faster? So some of these tips that I'm putting into practice, whether I have ADHD or not, that I'm finding helpful for me are just trying to fix one thing at a time, building in small, tiny, little rewards, but immediate, rather than holding out for the big reward and then gamifying, like trying to beat the clock. Can I do this before that, before the clock runs out? So those are just a very few of the things that I picked up on and wanted to share with you. So, whether you have ADHD, or your child does or someone you care about, or you just want some strategies to help you focus and get things done, I do recommend this book. Like I said, they are just really entertaining. They're a fun couple and they have a really I don't know a. I enjoy the perspective on things and I will put a link to the book in the show notes if you want to check it out.

Christina Kohl:

Like I said, I listened to it, which I would recommend. And then the other thing I want to add I mentioned at the beginning is, like all the month awareness things, breast cancer awareness month. So do go get your mammogram. If you're a woman listening to this and you haven't had done yet this year and you're over the age of 40, get your mammogram done, save your life. A friend of mine she's actually having reconstruction surgery soon and her cancer was found earlier this year through her annual mammogram. So take care of that.

Christina Kohl:

And then, the other thing that I didn't mention yet is that the day that this episode goes live, which is October 16th if you're listening in real time, it is National Bosses Day. Yes, there's a day for that. And if you are wishing that you had a job and a boss because you've been out of the workforce for a while and you're ready to come back, or maybe you have a boss but you wish you had a different one If you are in the job search, go check out my free resume template for career returners. It was made specifically for those that have a career gap, and it is what I use even after my gap was five years old. So go check that out. If you're wanting a new boss, the link will be in the show notes and, for my friends with ADHD, the template has all the formatting done for you, which makes the challenging task of writing a resume a whole lot easier.

Christina Kohl:

All right, friends, so that is everything for this week. Have a great week. We'll talk to you next time. Thank you so much for listening today. I hope this episode hit home for you and, if you haven't already, be sure to connect with me on LinkedIn and say hello so I can personally thank you for listening. Until next time, remember, your story is uniquely your own, and your next chapters are ready to begin.