Her Next Chapters
This podcast is for moms with an empty nest on the horizon who are reclaiming & redefining their identity outside of motherhood, which might include a job search. On this show we’ll have raw conversations about our ever-changing roles as moms, hear from women who restarted their careers, and share tactical tips for a successful job search after a career break.
Her Next Chapters
80. Job Searching and Mental Health: A Survival Guide during Mental Health Awareness Month
Job searching can take a toll on your mental health. In this episode, I share practical strategies and my GRACE framework to help you stay grounded and resilient.
If you’ve ever felt like job searching is messing with your head… you’re not wrong.
Behind every resume you send and interview you prep for is a whole swirl of emotions: hope, rejection, doubt, frustration. It’s a lot. Especially when you’re doing it alone.
In honor of Mental Health Awareness Month, this episode gets real about what the job search does to your mental health and what you can do to protect it.
If you're feeling drained, discouraged, or like your confidence has taken a hit, you’re going to want to hear this.
I’m sharing practical ways to care for your emotional wellbeing and stay focused on your goals, even when the search feels endless. You’ll also get a simple reset framework you can use anytime you start to spiral.
Tune in if you're ready to make your job search feel a little less like a mental minefield—and a little more manageable.
Need extra support in your job search? Email me or sign up for a free consultation (link ⤵️). I’d love to help
Grab the Free Strengths-First Resume Template - it's perfect for anyone in career transitions, whether with a long career gap, a career pivot, or just ready for a change.
Want to chat about your career goals? Schedule a free call HERE.
Send me an email ---> christina@hernextchapters.com
Connect with me on LinkedIn ---> www.linkedin.com/in/kohlchristina
Hi and welcome to Her Next Chapter's podcast. I'm your host, Christina Kohl. I'm a mom of three and soon to be an empty nester. I'm also a certified HR pro who restarted my career after being a stay-at-home mom for over a decade. I created this podcast to connect with moms who have an empty nest on the horizon and are wanting to redefine their identity outside of motherhood, which might include a job search. On this show, we'll have raw conversations about our ever-changing roles as moms. We'll hear from women who restarted their careers and share tips for a job search after a career break. So if that's you, you're in the right place. Friend, let's get started.
Speaker 2:Hi everyone and welcome to this week's episode of Her Next Chapters. If you are listening in real time, this episode is going live on Wednesday, April 30th, which is the day before Mental Health Awareness Month, which is the whole month of May, and so I'm recording this the day before. I do have a little bit of a cold, so I apologize in advance if my voice sounds not like myself. That would be why, but I didn't want to miss this opportunity to kick off Mental Health Awareness Month and my background in human resources. This is something that we made a big deal of at the companies that I worked at. We would celebrate Mental Health Awareness Month, make sure people knew all the resources we had, and since I'm not in that role anymore and I'm serving you, my audience, I wanted to talk to you about Mental Health Awareness Month, and I'm going to have a whole series of episodes this month in support of it, and the first episode so the one that you're listening to right now is about your mental health during a job search. You guys, that is one of the most stressful situations you can be in is a job search, particularly a prolonged job search, and it is high stress, a lot of worry, a lot of resilience building, just a lot of challenges that go on during a job search, and it's so important to keep your mental health strong and to keep your resilience strong and your confidence. So that's the one to kick off Mental Health Awareness Month, talking about the job search. And it is an emotional roller coaster. Right, you're hopeful one day, you're defeated the next. And if this is where you're at right now, if you're stuck in the in-between, this episode is for you. Or maybe you know someone who is in a job search and is going through this emotional roller coaster. Please take a minute and forward this episode to them.
Speaker 2:All right, so let's get into the meat of it. First of all, it is very normal to feel overwhelmed, frustrated, defeated, depressed, anxiety, anxious, all of that. That is a normal part of a job search. It doesn't mean you're broken if it feels hard. Job searching is a full-time, emotional job. It is filled with rejection and uncertainty and vulnerability Hello, stress.
Speaker 2:So, as you know, it's not just about updating your resume. It's about managing your energy, your confidence and your mental health every step of the way and this is one of the key things that my clients get when they coach with me is that it's not just the resume, the tools and all of that. Yes, we do all of that. But so much of the coaching relationship is built on building that confidence and I can hear in their voice. We leave voice notes to each other and I can hear when someone's having a down day and I'm able to tune into that and give them the pick me up that they need.
Speaker 2:And I've actually had one of my clients. She was struggling with something and her husband was like wait, you're talking to Christina tomorrow, right? Oh, good, talk to her about this. And she's told me she's like I don't know how people would go through this without someone like you helping them. And that's the beauty of a coach.
Speaker 2:And I didn't mean to get into all of that. I'll focus more on practical tips. But coaching can provide that external view and help you stay the course and help you be checking in and know that you're on the right course and keeping your motivation high, keeping you grounded as you're experiencing these very normal emotions. And, trust me, I don't tell my clients oh, don't feel that way, just get over it. No, it's quite the opposite. It's like okay, settle into that, take a break, go do something else that is energizing to you. Put the job search away for just a hot minute and do something else. Find your joy and your energy again and come back to it once you're refreshed, because job searching from a place of being defeated and demoralized it's not going to get you very far, right, your mindset is so important. So, okay, that's my little side note. Let's get into the practical tools to protect your mental health while you're on a job search.
Speaker 2:First of all is having a schedule, but do keep it flexible. It doesn't have to be rigid, but do have a schedule. Structure brings a sense of control. Have a schedule structure brings a sense of control. And, like I just mentioned, mix those job search tasks with life giving activities. Whatever that is for you, if it's reading a book, watching TV, going for a walk, hanging out with your friends and listening to music. Do something that gives you energy and doesn't leave you so depleted. And then, with your job search you know you keep hearing all the time you should treat your job search like a full-time job. Well, at a full-time job we take breaks, right, we don't work eight hours straight without taking a break. You still take breaks and my recommendation is to schedule work blocks and schedule your breaks. So maybe it's a 90 minute work block For you, maybe it's a 30 minute work block for you, maybe it's a 30 minute work block and you need a five minute break, or maybe it's an hour whatever works best for you, but schedule that time and keep that schedule so that you feel like you're making progress.
Speaker 2:And I'm not going to get too much into the tools of the actual job search. The today is more about tools to protect your mental health while in a job search. There's plenty of other episodes I've recorded about the how and what to do. Today is how to protect your mental health. Okay so, first one, having a schedule but keeping it flexible. The second one, and I've kind of alluded to it but do something every day that brings you joy. So not just every now and then or once a week, but something every day, and it doesn't have to cost a thing.
Speaker 2:Like I said, you can go on a walk, you could visit the library, you can have a dance break, put on your favorite music and just start dancing, and again on the daily. So do something every day and make a list. If you're not sure what it is, write a list of things. Ask other people for advice what they do to recharge, and maybe it's a cup of tea. I wouldn't encourage you. I would think. Let me rephrase that I would encourage you for it to not be like sugary sweets, right? We don't want to be putting on 10, 20 pounds because you're in a job search, because that's going to bring down your mood and your energy and all of that. So make sure that it's not necessarily food, but that doesn't mean you can't have a special treat every now and then.
Speaker 2:Okay, off the soapbox there and I guess with that, move your body and get outside. Yes, even if it's just to the mailbox. Sunshine and movement is a brain boost. There's tons of research on this and just trust me, being outside, being in nature, hearing the birds chirp, feeling the wind, the breeze in your face, it's going to make a difference. And, on a side note, you're most likely going to find your next job outside of the house, away from your computer, by talking to people. So that can be part of your. Getting outside is just go for coffee, go for a walk with a friend and neighbor, something to get you moving your body and connecting with others, which happens to be the next line on my list, so I just kind of set myself up for that.
Speaker 2:So isolation is confidence's worst enemy. So being alone I'm sure you can relate to this or maybe it's just me but kind of that downward spiral. Oh, I'm so excited about this job and I applied for it. I put all this work into it and I sent my application and I got the rejection like 20 minutes later. Something's wrong with me. I'm only getting rejections, I'm not getting the interviews, I'm never going to get hired. My experience is too old, my career break's been too long, I'm too old. All those things just start spiraling right. So isolation is going to do that to you. But being with people is going to really energize you. And even if you're an introvert, you still need to be connecting with people.
Speaker 2:And my advice is to schedule one to two virtual coffee chats a week. It doesn't have to be a big time consuming, it doesn't have to be at the coffee house where you have to pay five to $10 just to price of admission to have a drink. It could just be a virtual call and be reaching out to people that you used to work with, your friends, neighbors, your past colleagues, classmates, people you've lost touch with and just checking in. It doesn't have to be networking right For the job search, it can just be checking in with people and filling your cup that way, and I encourage you, be around people who see you outside of your job title. Again, it's another way to be protecting your energy and protecting your confidence right by being a whole person. Because you are a whole person, you are not just your job title. And when you don't have a job title and you've had one for a long time it can feel really ungrounded, right, like you feel untethered, like, well, what do you do? Who are you? And you don't have a job title. You know, or you're changing careers and you don't know how to answer that question. Be around people who know you as the whole person that you are and that's going to help build your confidence.
Speaker 2:And then next is tracking the wins. Did you get a response? Hey, that counts. Did you rewrite your summary? That's a win. Every little step deserves a high five, deserves acknowledgement. All those little, tiny steps are going to build on themselves. So acknowledge it Maybe it's the end of the week, end of each day. Track what you've done and those are accomplishments, right, and that you are making progress. Every little step deserves that recognition. So so far we've talked about having a schedule, so those 90 minute blocks, doing something every day that brings you joy, which might include moving your body, but absolutely getting outside, connecting with others in person if you can, but it doesn't have to be job search related and then tracking your wins.
Speaker 2:And then this next one is really big Expect rejection but reframe it so in a job search you're going to get rejections. It's just part of the way it works. Are you going to apply for one job and get that first job you apply for? It happens, but not very often. That's not a realistic expectation. So if you go into it expecting rejection and then you know that each no, each rejection gives you one step closer to the yes, so maybe you're going to need 20 no's before you get to the yes. Maybe it's a higher number than that, but even then you might need to apply for 100 jobs to get 10 interviews, first screening interviews, to get five first round interviews to get to the second round and then the offer. So there is a bit of a numbers game to it, of course.
Speaker 2:Now I'm getting into the job search side of things. Make sure your job search is targeted and not just a spray and pray approach where you're just applying to anything and everything. So the more focused you can be about your search and what you're applying for, the better results you're going to have number one, but number two, you're still going to get rejections. That is part of this. So that reframe of knowing that each no is getting you one step closer to the yes. So expect the rejections. Don't let them derail you. They do not mean you're not valuable.
Speaker 2:And then next on the list is remind yourself of what you're capable of. Keep a list of your past wins. Read your old performance reviews. You have copies of those right? If not, then make sure you keep copies of them going forward. And then journal about a time you felt powerful at work.
Speaker 2:And this is one of the exercises I have my clients do. I have them write things that they are proud of and it doesn't have to be just work related, it could be personal life as well, but things that they're most proud of. And then that really kind of draws out like oh yeah, I forgot about when I was teaching at that local university. I kind of forgot I did that. It was so long ago or when I saved the $2 million when I merged these two plans together. Whatever it is, we tend to forget. And so having that list and then writing about it, having it fresh, it also prepares you for the interviews. But it helps with your mindset while you're in this in-between stage. And then the next thing on the list and I just have a couple more. And then the next thing on the list and I just have a couple more.
Speaker 2:The next thing is using many rituals to reset. So for some examples, here's what I mean is maybe you light a candle before it's job search time. It just kind of sets your mindset that, okay, we are shifting gears and focusing on this job search. Maybe for you it's having a cup of tea, or maybe you walk the dog first, but set those rituals to have that separation, to know that this is your block of time, that you're focusing on the job search. And then don't forget the end of the job search time as well Close the laptop and physically leave the room after. So it's just like work. You have a beginning and an end. And I know that's all muddled now that we've been working from home for so long, like.
Speaker 2:Since COVID it became much more common and if you're doing a job search, depending on if you're an employee or not, you might be at home and it can kind of bleed into like all hours of the day, right. So make a demarcation that you are done, so you're closing the laptop or maybe you close down all of the tabs, because I don't know if you're like me, right now I've only got six tabs open. That's not too many, but there's times I've got 20 or more. Close all the job search related tabs, close the laptop, take a break and then you can come back to your laptop and do something else, if that's what you're going to do, but have those rituals to know that this is part of that block of time, the beginning and an end, and the other thing is doing okay. So this might sound kind of silly, a little woo-woo, but morning affirmations that can be a ritual, and there's a great app that I actually like to use. It's called I Am. So the words, the letter I and then A, m, m, as in mother, and you can like scroll through and it just gives you affirmations that are written and you can like, you know, like the ones that mean the most to you and they'll show up more. But it just kind of helps to have that external affirmations.
Speaker 2:I'm trying to think of an example for job search. I have skills and experience to offer. Any employer is going to be lucky to have me. My offer is coming soon. So things like that, like affirmations. And the other thing is maybe an evening brain dump. Every night you have the habit of writing down all the things that you did, that you accomplished, writing down the things that you want to do the next day, any frustrations that are coming up. Just get it all out of your head, and so those are some rituals that you can have for yourself to reset. So, eat something at the beginning, something at the end, those affirmations, even brain dumps. And then, lastly, on this list of things, is having a backup income plan if needed. Listen, you are allowed to take a side hustle without giving up on your career, so that could be even DoorDash babysitting.
Speaker 2:Temp rolls this is a bridge, not a failure, and let's go back to a minute for the temp rolls, especially those can open up into long-term opportunities. One of the places that I worked, that's where we hired a lot of our staff from. They would come in as a temp because we had a need and then it grew into a full-time position. Or maybe we just started it that way. We just wanted a temp because we had an immediate need hurry up and we need somebody to fill the seat. And oh, they're pretty good, we're going to hire them for this open role. So temp roles depending on your industry and what you do, that could be a real option.
Speaker 2:Fiber, there's all kinds of different ways in this economy today that you can have a side hustle and make some money and it's not a failure. And who knows, it might open up a whole side thing, a whole new entrepreneurial side of you you didn't know you had. New entrepreneurial side of you you didn't know you had. And it also fills that gap for your resume and obviously it fills your bank account. So don't feel like it's a failure. Find ways to make money.
Speaker 2:There's one woman I know. I met her at an HR conference years ago and she was unemployed for a period of time. She was driving for Uber and she had a spouse who was on disability so he couldn't work. She had five kids and they relied on her income. She was the breadwinner for the family. She was driving for Uber and making a thousand dollars a week and that's how she provided for her family. And it's also, you guys, how she found her next job. Because people in the back seat, you know, when they're talking to her, they're like well, what's your story? What do you do? Whatever? Just the conversation happened and she told them who she was and what her profession was, which was human resources, and they're like, oh my gosh, I know someone and they introduced her to her next job. So you never even know, it might be a great networking tool as well. It'll get you out of the house, get some money in your bank account and keep things going All right.
Speaker 2:So that's kind of a long list. I'm just going to run through it really quickly. Having a flexible schedule, doing something every day that brings you joy, moving your body and getting outside and I don't have it on the list, but eating healthy we don't want to turn to junk food side. And I don't have it on the list, but eating healthy we don't want to turn to junk food. Connecting with others, tracking your wins, expecting rejection and knowing that each one gets you closer to that. Yes, reminding yourself what you're capable of. Using many rituals to reset, some before and after, and then having that backup income plan if needed. So those are like a lot of detailed tips that I just gave you.
Speaker 2:I want to give you an acronym and kind of a quicker way to remember some things. They're all kind of wrapped into what we've talked about, but the acronym is GRACE. Give yourself GRACE. This is a five-step mental health reset during your job search. First of all, g ground yourself. So once you find yourself spiraling all that negative self-talk coming at you and you just can't turn it off, use the 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 senses check. To come back to the present moment, and if you aren't familiar with this tool, it's basically with your senses. We start with five things. You can see. It's basically with your senses. We start with five things. You can see four things, you can hear three things, you can touch two things, you can smell one thing, you can taste. You get the idea. The point of doing that grounding exercise is to bring you into the present moment, touching base with your senses and your body, and it helps stop that spiral, the negative mental spiral that could be going on. Okay, so that's G ground yourself.
Speaker 2:The next letter in grace, the R is reach out Text a friend, call someone, talk to a therapist or a coach. Don't go in alone. Okay, you're not alone in this. And then A affirm your worth. So these are those affirmations we talked about I am capable, I am resourceful, I have something valuable to offer, and if you need an app to help you, I Am is a great app for that. There's probably tons of others, but do those affirmations. And then C. In grace, the C is cut the scroll, take a break from the LinkedIn, job boards, all of that, and do something that energizes you instead.
Speaker 2:Okay, and then we finished with E express gratitude. Write down three good things, your daily joy, your progress or moments of calm. And with that gratitude, of course, we all tend to go to like oh, I'm grateful for my house, my family, I'm grateful for my health. Those are all great things, but with this, what I'm talking about is being more specific. Be training your brain to be looking for things throughout your day to be grateful for. So there's something specific that has happened within the last 24 hours, and by being that focused, you're training your brain to look for it instead of looking for proof of negative things Our brain is programmed to look for and confirm what we're thinking. So if you are looking for gratitude, your brain is going to be helping you looking for it. So write down three good things that happened every 24 hours to express gratitude. And that finishes the grace. So, grounding yourself, reaching out, affirming your worth, cut the scroll and express gratitude, all right.
Speaker 2:Well, that's the final thing for kicking off Mental Health Awareness Month. I hope you have found it helpful and again share it with someone if you feel like this would be useful to them. If you're in a job search and you want help with the tactical side of things, the technical pieces and the mental and mindset piece of it, I would love to walk through it with you. Send me an email it's Christina at hernextchapterscom, or just grab a spot on my calendar. There's a link in the show notes. All right, my friends, that is everything for this week's episode. We will talk to you next time.
Christina Kohl:Thank you so much for listening today. I hope this episode hit home for you and, if you haven't already, be sure to connect with me on LinkedIn and say hello, so I can personally thank you for listening. Until next time, remember, your story is uniquely your own, and your next chapters are ready to begin.