Her Next Chapters

82. When They Graduate, So Do You: Navigating the Space Between Pride and Nostalgia

• Christina Kohl

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Graduation season brings a complex mix of emotions as we celebrate our children's achievements while also grieving the end of a significant chapter in our lives as mothers. This bittersweet transition marks not only our children's growth but also our own evolution from full-time caregivers to witnesses of their adult lives, prompting us to consider what comes next in our own journey.

• The celebration of graduation represents the culmination of years of hard work and personal growth
• Different transitions exist between high school and college graduations, each with unique emotional impacts
• Leaving the K-12 system after decades can feel like losing an anchor that structured family life
• The "emotional whiplash" of feeling joy and grief simultaneously is a normal part of this transition
• As our children graduate, whether from high school or college, we mothers also graduate into a new phase of life
• This transition period is an opportunity to reflect on what we want in our next chapter

If you're in a season of transition right now, especially as your kids grow up and the house starts feeling quieter, you're not alone. I'd love to invite you to a free coaching call with me—a chance to talk things through, get clarity, and feel more grounded about what's next for you. There's no pressure, no pitch, just one mom to another offering a safe space to figure this out together. 

Grab a spot on my calendar using the link in the show notes or email me at Christina@HerNextChapters.com.


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Send me an email ---> christina@hernextchapters.com
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Christina:

Hi and welcome to Her Next Chapter's podcast. I'm your host, Christina Kohl. I'm a mom of three and soon to be an empty nester. I'm also a certified HR pro who restarted my career after being a stay-at-home mom for over a decade. I created this podcast to connect with moms who have an empty nest on the horizon and are wanting to redefine their identity outside of motherhood, which might include a job search. On this show, we'll have raw conversations about our ever-changing roles as moms. We'll hear from women who restarted their careers and share tips for a job search after a career break. So if that's you, you're in the right place. Friend, let's get started.

Christina:

Hi, friends, and welcome to this week's episode of Her Next Chapters. If you're listening in real time, we are in May, the month of May, and here in Colorado that is the middle of graduation season. So I know some parts of the country graduations happen later, like in June, but here in Colorado it's May and I am celebrating a graduate in our household. My daughter is getting her Interior Design degree and she'll be walking the stage a week from today. I'm recording this on Friday, so by the time that this episode goes live, it'll just be a couple days away from her graduation, and maybe that's you as well. Maybe you have a recent graduate in your family or maybe you're the mom of someone who's graduating in the next couple of weeks, and there are so many wonderful things that come up around graduation.

Christina:

It's a moment of, obviously, celebration, but there's also a lot of nostalgia that can kick up around this time. So this episode is a celebration, but also an acknowledgement of the emotional undercurrent that many parents, in particular moms, feel during this season. So let's just start with the celebration, though All the hard work, the late nights, the creative projects and all the personal growth and I'm talking about our kids here, but all of that can apply to us too. But this isn't just about the degree, like for my daughter, it's about who she's become, and I've been watching her step into her own and she is already working. She has a job in her field and she absolutely loves it and I'm so very proud of her. And, of course, we're going to be celebrating, going out to a fancy dinner, taking the pictures, crying happy tears, and those tears are real and beautiful.

Christina:

But it's also a goodbye. It's a goodbye to this particular chapter, this chapter of school, a certain rhythm of life and for us moms me in particular, and maybe you can relate to this too it can feel like yet another layer of letting go and that part changes can be hard and I want to let you know it is okay to grieve while you celebrate. It's what I call both and right. We are both happy and thrilled and proud and all of those, and we can be a little sad and nostalgic and wishing time would slow down. And I do want to talk a little bit because this is a college graduation for her and there's that kind of a difference, there's different transitions between high school and college and for me, the emotional impact of high school I mean it's especially last year I'm one year into this my youngest child, my son, is a freshman away at college.

Christina:

Youngest child, my son, is a freshman away at college and I will say when he graduated high school, that was a really big transition for me because for the previous 20-something years we had been part of the local school district. We hadn't moved during that time. So from when my oldest started preschool to when my youngest graduated high school, it was like 21 years, all said and done, and to no longer be affiliated or connected to the school district and no longer have the K through 12 calendar dictate my calendar. It was very I don't know how to describe it but that was kind of an anchor. I didn't realize how much of an anchor that had become in our schedule, in our daily life and we were a little untethered from that right. And there's this happiness about it because we're moving forward and that's what we want, but there's also I kind of miss some of the teachers and the principal. We had a great we have. He's still there, just my family's not. We have a wonderful principal in that school and the guidance counselor meant so much to our family and incredible teachers and that's all gone. And you know that I've got three kids. They're at three different colleges and thankfully my kids have stayed in the state of Colorado, so that helps because I can see them.

Christina:

But it's definitely a transition, definitely a chapter closing, when you leave that K through 12 environment compared to going off to college and I think for me high school felt like a bigger transition because it just impacted so many things. And then on the other side, college graduation, it can feel even more final in its own way. My daughter is my first one in our household to get her degree. She is completing all of her education, from preschool all the way through college, and it's a huge milestone and it's a launch into her adult life. And she's already working and she'll be increasing her hours and working full time and in a career that she loves, and that is just such a blessing. And I still see my little sweet five-year-old heading off to kindergarten and getting. I have this picture of her in my mind, but also it's a photograph I took the first day that she went to school and she's getting off the school bus I've got that snapshot in my mind compared to her walking at the stage in just a few days to get her degree. So it's not necessarily that one is harder, they're just different. And there's no right answer as to which is a bigger transition high school or college but they are both monumental.

Christina:

Yeah, and here's the thing the emotional whiplash is real. So, friends, if you haven't gone through it yet, maybe you're the parent of a junior in high school and you know senior year is coming, or maybe you're going through it right now. But that emotional whiplash is real. And then, layer that on top of it, we might be going through some hormonal changes too in our bodies at this age and stage of life. So add that on top of the emotional story.

Christina:

But one moment feeling joy and pride and celebration, and the next tears and missing bedtime, stories and packing lunches and all those things that you're like, oh, I can't wait to get out of this phase where I'm so busy and then it happens and you long for those days of busyness at least the good parts of it. And it is okay to want time to slow down and it's okay to cry and target when you see graduation cards. Maybe that's just me, but this is the work of motherhood and midlife holding that space for the full spectrum of emotions. And, honestly, your kids are probably going through this too. You know the whole idea of graduating. When I'm done and I'm finally finished, I don't have to do that anymore To all my friends are scattering across the country and moving away and everything shifted. I was on top of the world and now I'm having to find my way in the world. So our kids are going through all of that too, and none of us are being dramatic. We're being human right. These are big changes, and I just want to reclaim this moment for ourselves too, because as our kids graduate, so do we. We graduate from being full-time caregivers to being witnesses of their adult lives.

Christina:

So what comes next for you? What's your version of a cap and gown moment? This is a beautiful time to ask what do I want in this next chapter of my life? May and into June? It is a beautiful time to celebrate our graduates and honor the mothers. I'm also recording this about a week before Mother's well, just a few days before Mother's Day. So happy Mother's Day to everyone. But just give yourself space to feel it. All this is sacred, tender, bittersweet ground. So here's to our kids and here's to us.

Christina:

And hey friend, if you're in a season of transition right now, especially as your kids grow up and the house starts feeling a little quieter, I want you to know you're not alone. So, whether your nest is newly empty halfway there or just shifting in ways you didn't expect, this chapter can stir up a lot, and maybe you're wondering who you are now, what you want next or how to even begin exploring that, whether it's this season of life or the next chapter in your career. If any of that sounds familiar, I'd love to invite you to a free coaching call with me. It's a chance to talk things through, get a little clarity and feel a little more grounded about what's next for you. There's no pressure, no pitch, just one mom to another offering a safe space to figure some of this out together.

Christina:

You can grab a spot by using the link in the show notes or just send me an email, if that's easier. It's Christina@ HerNextChapters. com. I'd love to connect with you. All right, if you are celebrating a graduate, enjoy the moment. Congratulations to you and your graduate and happy belated Mother's Day. And that's it for this week's episode. I'll talk to you next time. Thank you so much for listening today. I hope this episode hit home for you and, if you haven't already, be sure to connect with me on LinkedIn and say hello so I can personally thank you for listening. Until next time. Remember your story is uniquely your own, and your next chapters are ready to begin.