Her Next Chapters
This podcast is for moms with an empty nest on the horizon who are reclaiming & redefining their identity outside of motherhood, which might include a job search. On this show we’ll have raw conversations about our ever-changing roles as moms, hear from women who restarted their careers, and share tactical tips for a successful job search after a career break.
Her Next Chapters
85. Summer Refresh: Declutter with Guest Melina Kane (Replay)
It's the first week of June, and with my college freshman home for the summer, I'm definitely facing the challenge of decluttering! I recently tackled my son Alex's overflowing room after moving him home from the dorm (barely fitting all his stuff in our SUV), a task that immediately brought back memories of my most popular episode with professional organizer Melina Kane.
In this timely replay, originally aired in January 2025, Melina shares invaluable insights and practical tips for organizing your space. While my basement clean-out is still a work in progress (a relatable struggle, I'm sure!), I'm making headway with Alex's room, including letting go of childhood treasures like the "Diary of a Wimpy Kid" series.
Melina's advice on creating a "joy day" really stands out to me—it's not just about boxing up memories, but about regularly taking out those special items to touch, hold, and enjoy. With my own children's birthdays approaching in July, August, and September, I'm planning to bring out their childhood keepsake boxes to celebrate those mementos.
Tune in for a fun, tactical, and meaningful discussion that I hope will inspire you to tackle your own organizing projects!
Curious about your Organizing Personality Type? Check out the Quiz HERE.
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Send me an email ---> christina@hernextchapters.com
Connect with me on LinkedIn ---> www.linkedin.com/in/kohlchristina
Hi and welcome to Her Next Chapter's podcast. I'm your host, christina Fall. I'm a mom of three and soon to be an empty nester. I'm also a certified HR pro who restarted my career after being a stay-at-home mom for over a decade. I created this podcast to connect with moms who have an empty nest on the horizon and are wanting to redefine their identity outside of motherhood, which might include a job search. On this show we'll have raw conversations about our ever-changing roles as moms. We'll hear from women who restarted their careers and share tips for a job search after a career break. So if that's you, you're in the right place. Friend, let's get started. Hi, friends, and welcome to this week's episode of Her Next Chapters. As always, I'm so glad to have you with me. So today I'm recording this.
Christina Kohl:It's the first week of June and it's really the beginning of summer. I know, I know summer doesn't really start till June 21st, but school's out for my kids, college kids. I've just had one graduate. The others are done with their spring semesters. They're home. My son just came home from his first year away in college. I moved him home from the dorms a few weeks ago in May. He came home on a Thursday, his sister, my daughter Abby, graduated on Friday. On Saturday we left to go to a trip to London and we've been back for a week. But when we came back, his room is literally full of Ikea bags and just overflowing. You can barely even see the carpet, let alone walk through the room. He's able to sleep there and that's about it, and so we're going through. Yesterday I spent a couple hours with him just kind of organizing things you know, the keep pile, the sell pile, the donate pile, all of that and we got through the main part of the room haven't gotten to the closet yet and it made me remember back the first week in January of 2025, I had as my guest Melina Kane and Melina is a professional organizer and her episode is the most downloaded episode of my entire library of episodes I've ever done, and I thought this would be a perfect time to revisit her episode. So I'm going to replay it. So I'm just kind of setting it up for you.
Christina Kohl:You'll hear me talk about cleaning out our basement. That job still isn't done. I'm sure you can relate. You know life gets busy and we just haven't made it a priority. But I am cleaning out Alex's room and his closet before he goes back to college.
Christina Kohl:You probably have the Diary of a Wimpy Kid series. We have the entire series. We collected them as they're being written. Nobody's going to read those anymore in our household anyway, and they haven't been read for many years. They're all young adults, so things like that and toys and all of that it is time to let go.
Christina Kohl:So when I go through and help my son clean out his room and his closet and all those childhood things, we're going to talk about things he wants to hold on to and we're going to put them in a container. By container I just mean a box like a plastic bin with a lid, and that'll be just his. And by having it be a container it's going to be limited in size. Right, you can't keep everything, but you're just going to keep those things that are special. But here's what I loved about Melina's advice was having a joy day of having not just putting things in the container and boxing it up and putting the basement, forgetting about it, but getting them out on a regular basis to enjoy those things. And my kids' birthdays are all coming up. We've got July, august and September. Each one of them has a birthday, and so I want to bring up their boxes that we've been keeping things even from when they were little babies and celebrate those things, and then we'll put them back in the box, but with around their birthdays it's a good time to have that joy day and touch and hold and enjoy those mementos from their childhood. So, anyway, there's my very long introduction of this really fun and tactical and meaningful episode with my guest, Melina Kane. So enjoy, and I'll be back next week with a new, fresh episode. Hi everyone, I hope that you are having a great start to 2025. I'm excited that we have a special guest on the show this week.
Christina Kohl:Melina Kane is joining us and Melina is a professional organizer and a certified life coach based in Austin, texas. She loves helping women organize their homes and simplify their lives through practical strategies and sustainable systems. As a mom of littles, melina found herself drowning in stuff, constantly stressed and lacking a purpose in her days. Then she discovered she could reclaim her sanity, joy and sense of self simply by removing the clutter from her home. That simple act sparked her confidence, gave her a renewed sense of purpose and enabled Melina to create systems and rhythms that would be foundational for her growing family. Now she helps other women and moms who are drowning in a season of overwhelm to live the best version of their life by having their values reflected in their home heart and habits.
Christina Kohl:I'm so excited that Melina has joined us today. She's going to share all kinds of wisdom and she is hosting a three-day challenge to kind of kick off the new year, so be sure to listen in for that. The link to join the challenge is going to be in the show notes, as well as an organizing personality quiz. So if you want to learn some insights about yourself and your organizing style, check out the quiz as well. All right with that, let's listen in to my conversation with Melina. Well, hi, everyone. Welcome to this week's episode of Her Next Chapters. I am so excited that Melina Kane is with us here today and we're going to talk about all things organizing, because Melina is a professional organizer. Welcome, melina.
Melina Kane:Hi Christina, how are you? so happy to be here.
Christina Kohl:I'm good. Thank you so much for joining us. I'm sure we are going to learn a ton and before we get into all of that, I would love to hear your journey Like, tell us about, like, your background and what brought you to like becoming the person you are today, with being a professional organizer.
Melina Kane:Okay, so I'm gonna try to keep this short and sweet. What you know, if you would have told me me I was going to be running my own business, starting my own business a few years ago, I would have just kind of shook my head a little bit. But the kind of the origin of this started almost eight years ago now when I decided to stay home with my youngest son after he was born. So I had been in the corporate world for over 10 years and with my first son I actually had a lot of postpartum depression and anxiety. And when our second came along, my husband and I had a conversation about what would be the healthiest choice for our family right now and I decided to stay home. I realized that as a privilege and we were thankfully able to do that. For me it was a necessity because it took me two years to dig my health out and my sanity, my mental health, when my first was born. So you know it's very different.
Melina Kane:I'm sure I know a lot of moms listen to your podcast. It's like there's there's a wide variety of like when you're working a working mom, a stay at home mom, part-time working mom, like those are all very different hats, and so I was used to full-time working mom. So when I stayed at home, it's a whole nother kind of skillset that you have to develop and figure out and there's not, there's no one telling you exactly what to do. You have a lot of freedom in that sense, which is wonderful, but for someone like me, where I'm a little bit of more of a type A, that freedom was overwhelming in a sense, because I had to do all these things, perfectly right, to make sure my child is getting developmentally you know all the attention they need, and my house looks like a mess, like all these toys and all the things.
Melina Kane:So I, I, I, I was drowning for like quite a while just to figure out how to do this dance and learn how to be a stay-at-home mom. I loved it, but again it's just like I felt very ill-equipped and so I discovered minimalism, which is one of those things like I was reading so much as young moms do, reading and listening to podcasts, and I found, found, discovered one about minimalism and I was like tell me more, because it was this idea of living with less, to have more freedom in your time and your energy which any young mom can attest like we need. We would love to have more of that Right. So it's learning about what that was and for me it developed over time of really rooting down into your values and making those the foundation for your family. And then how does that then pull forward into everything else that you do in your day to day life?
Melina Kane:Um, and my boys are now 10 and seven, and so a couple of years ago I felt the nudge to kind of expand and do more and to serve moms and women in other ways that I am when I'm doing here locally right now, and so I stumbled upon life coaching no, you're also a life coach and so delved into that world and then figured out like I need to. I think it'd be very supportive to marry these two worlds the life coaching side and the organizing side for women and for moms. And so that's, that's kind of how I ended up here today Roundabout, windy road kind of way.
Christina Kohl:Thank you for that backstory. I love hearing people's origin stories and so technically you are what I would call a career returner, but you went, rather than back to corporate, you went and you've become a life certified life coach and you have started your own business. So you're an entrepreneur. So congratulations on that. That's huge Thank you. And that could probably be a whole entire conversation about entering entrepreneurship as your pivot away from, you know, being a full-time stay-at-home mom.
Christina Kohl:But today we'll focus on the organizing aspect, and I think a lot of. I know I'll speak for myself. Maybe there's some listeners out there that can relate that for me, parts of my house are just, you know, in great, perfect order. So when you walk in, you see everything's like you know, in its place and it looks nice.
Christina Kohl:The parts that we use a lot is where it gets a lot more cluttered, and we in particular have a basement which is a I don't know what to call it. It's a holding space, so it's not finished at the moment, and if you're not sure where to put something, it just goes holding space. So it's not finished at the moment and if you're not sure where to put something, it just goes in the basement and it is an absolute mess. We are getting ready to actually have the basement finished. It's time to like, call and get rid of everything, and I'm just curious how do you know when it's time to let go of things and have that minimalist perspective and maybe share a little bit too, a little bit more with that minimal at least by the word minimalist I have an idea but maybe share a little bit more of what kind of the foundations and what that philosophy is?
Melina Kane:So, yes, I think let's let's first at the tone of like what? What does minimalism mean in my definition? Because every there's, there's a wide variety, there's a spectrum when it comes to minimalism. There are some that are more on the extreme side where, um, you think white walls they have they own maybe like a hundred things. Um, you know, they could literally pack up everything they own like in one suitcase and just go. That's one side of minimalism. And like in one suitcase and just go, that's one side of minimalism and there's a lot of beauty to that too, right, a lot of freedom. Then there's the other side is kind of where more I live, just because, again, I'm a mom and we we are not, we're actually living in the house I grew up in. So it's a really fun, like kind of legacy of just my boys are playing in the rooms that I played in. You know things like that. But I'm a little bit more in the middle where, for me, minimalism means that it's it's really rooting down into.
Melina Kane:I kind of mentioned earlier. It's like what are the things that are important to you, like, what are the values that you hold dear for yourself and for your family, and letting that help influence what it is that you then hold on to. So if you're a family that values adventure and fun, like okay, then maybe you probably have a lot more like sporting equipment or camping equipment and things like that. I'm never going to come into somebody's house or virtually somebody's house, and if they have a passion and love for something I'm not gonna be like let's get off, let's. You know, we really need to get rid of all this stuff. Like you only use it like twice a year or whatever that is.
Melina Kane:Let's really think about what. What do you like see, what do you want to pass on to your, to your children? Like, what are the things in the memories that are important to you? Then let's figure out, like, within that, all that stuff that you have, let's really root down and be like, okay, you really enjoy camping. Amazing, let's. Let's talk about that. What do you have? Do you? Do you need like 20 lanterns? Maybe not Like maybe we can, like you know, filter down to maybe 10. I have no idea. I'm not a camping person, but but I know you probably don't need 20 lanterns.
Christina Kohl:No two is probably a good number. I'm a camping person.
Melina Kane:Two lanterns. But you know there's, there's these fancy lanterns, there's these battery powered, like there's all sorts of varieties, I know. So, um, it's then kind of going back and like, okay, cool, so if that's a core value of your family, amazing. But then let's just kind of whittle it down so that your camping equipment doesn't take over your whole garage. Right, it's still important for you, but let's not let it take over your whole house, because that's a lot of stuff to keep up with.
Melina Kane:And that's what, like, it really comes down to is like it's holding on and and valuing the things that you own, that are for the lifestyle and legacy that you want to build, but not so much the fact that they are taking over so much time and energy every day.
Melina Kane:Um, and that's where I people get, because that basement that you talked about, christina, you don't technically see it, but I know that you feel it, I know that you walk by that door and you think about it.
Melina Kane:So it's just kind of this little thing that you carry around with you all the time that it's just there in, like, in your mental load of like, someday, sometime, I need to go through all that stuff. So it's the same thing with all the things that you own in your home. It's more so like okay, you can own whatever you want, but what's its purpose in your home? And that's really what it comes down to is like, what's the purpose? And and really thinking through, is this purpose aligned with our values? So that's where the my perspective comes in. When it comes to minimalism is it's not like it's not the quantity per se, it's really like how is it tied to your purpose and your values as a family? And then we can kind of talk about the quantity of things, the quality of things, those kind of items. So it makes a big difference.
Christina Kohl:Yeah, that makes a lot of sense. Thank you for unpacking that for us. Yeah, yeah, that makes a lot of sense. Thank you for unpacking that for us. Yeah, so with with you know, at least the moms that I know and myself and probably the listeners moms tend to be the ones that kind of manage the household stuff, so it kind of falls on, stereotypically, anyway, our shoulders.
Christina Kohl:Um, what advice do you have as we're going through those ages and stages of our kids growing up, and you know so I guess there's one part of what I'm hearing perhaps is being intentional about what we bring into the home to begin with, making sure that it has a purpose that is aligned with our values, and not just, oh, it's a good deal, it's a good value, let's bring it in. Or, you know, it was on sale. So there's that piece, certainly. But for those of us that are midstream, so to speak, we didn't start out that way. How do we make those decisions? Where do we even start? In a house full of all of our stuff that might be taking over?
Melina Kane:So that's, that's a good question. It, it's it. It depends on the person. So let's say, like today, like you know you want to start setting this intention in your home. I would say, like my best advice is start two ways either start somewhere very small so that you can can actually complete it and it gives you that kind of good, like I did it. I can do this, I can make these hard decisions. Or start in somewhere that's like the big impact place. I would, for you personally, I wouldn't say don't do the basement first, because that's just that's a lot, that's a whole large space, like that's not just one little room, that is like five rooms in one, so that's a whole large space, like that's not just one little room, that is like five rooms in one. So that's a lot there. Um, and also there's a lot of memories in that space too.
Melina Kane:A lot of the times people um stumble because there's emotional attachment that comes into things. So I that's why I think it's like an easy place to start would be like a junk drawer or, um a bathroom or like a laundry room, places that don't typically have a lot of emotional attachment to things. That being said, in some of those spaces, like your bathroom, you might stumble across some emotions that come up when it's tied to like you spent a lot of money for this product. So just knowing like a lot of times it's just having the awareness of like here's what you might come across. Here are some questions to ask yourself Um, is there dust on this product? When's the last time I use this? Do I really like? Do I actually like this? Am I just holding onto it because it costs so much money? Um, do I need 20 pencils or do I need just like two or three in this space?
Melina Kane:So it's, it's going through each of those spaces and kind of being armed with the awareness of like here's what I'm going to go walk into here. Here's some things that might come up for me. There's some questions to ask myself before I go and I do that for my clients Like here's some questions to ask yourself before you walk into this room to kind of help mentally and emotionally prepare yourself. And then here's a system to go through each of those spaces so that you're able to fall back on something, because you get, you can get tripped up quite easily, just start, and then it's like that's when you see the people, like you know, surrounded in a puddle of all their stuff, and they're, like you know, crying and eating chocolate by themselves, and now I don't know what to do now. Just stuff. I'm just going to shove it all back into place, then you just put it all back.
Melina Kane:Nevermind, we'll do this tomorrow. This isn't the right time, yeah. So I think that's my best advice is start small, start with a place that's not as emotional for you, so then you can kind of get your reps in and and get some gain more confidence in the spaces that you're wanting to actually tackle.
Christina Kohl:That sounds like great advice. And that's even the basement um. Yesterday, two days ago, my daughter went through there's a resale sports resale um the event that was going on. So she grabbed a bunch of our ski jackets and her old leotards. She was like come. And she was like, come on, mom, let's go. Let's go like see what we can get for these. And we didn't get a lot, and most of it they wouldn't take. So we just dropped the rest off at Goodwill on our way home. But I'm like, okay, we made a little tiny dent in the basement and that felt good.
Christina Kohl:So, with kids getting older, do you have a system that you recommend? Because it's one thing for me is like, okay, I'm going to go to my bathroom or I'm going to do the laundry room, but when it's also teaching others and helping others let go of their things, is there a certain time of year, like seasonal, like when school starts, or summer, or you know what have you seen that works for you and your clients? Or what do you recommend as the kids go through, as they grow up and need to kind of leave some things behind because they're done with them, but yet we are emotionally attached yeah, yeah, and you touched on a good point there.
Melina Kane:So when it comes to your children, especially the older they are, um, giving them ownership over their stuff is really important. I recommend for my clients and for myself it seasonally is a really like easy rhythm to remember and you actually are in a place that has seasons. Here in Texas we have like two seasons, so it's just more so like calendar based. So if you're in a place where there's really not a lot of change in seasons, then I would do it kind of like where the normal seasons kind of fall. So January is a great time, may or June is a good time, august, september, october is a good time of year. So just kind of like where those regular seasons, or March as well, where the weather's going to shift, like that's a great time to kind of go through and help model it for your children as well. So the younger they are, the easier this becomes to just model and it just becomes part of what you do during those times. But if they're a little bit on the older side, what I thought was really great about your story what's beautiful is that your daughter made the choice to take those items and she was motivated by money. Kids are motivated by different items, like five different types of motivations, and so she's motivated, at least in that moment, by money, right? Other kids are more emotionally motivated, or competitions. Part of the motivation to, like you know, speed, getting things done in a really quick way or quick manner. So it's kind of it's understanding your children and you know it's it's giving them the opportunity. When they're on the older side, you know they've got to keep it. Well, you know it depends on the rules in your home, but for me it's like if that's your, that's your space, I expect you to keep it up Right. Like I, I need to be able to walk through your room without injuring myself on whatever's on the floor or being able to at least to see the floor, kind of thing. So everyone has different house rules, but that's one of my house rules, so I think that that's important to give them the ownership, help make it easy to remember by doing it in the seasons and um, having conversations with them.
Melina Kane:Like I think we really overlook just the simple act of having conversations, like frequent conversations. It's not just going to be one time, but just kind of talking about, like you know, here's, here's, you know what I love about our home. Like, you know, here are the things that I love in our home. What are some things that you love about our home? What are some things that you cherish, that you own? What are some things that you don't? What are some things that that you feel like you're always like having to, like, you know, keep up with.
Melina Kane:When mommy asks you to, like, clean up your room, you know, um, or mom, I'm still in that mommy thing.
Melina Kane:Mom, you know, ask you to clean up your room, like what are the things that just like keep dragging you down and then you're just like gosh, I just I'm so tired of picking up this stuff or whatever like that is. Having conversations like that, I think, are important because it gives them some insight and it also gives them the opportunity to think about their own stuff and like what's important to them, because, again, the older they get, the more autonomy they have for their own life and for their own stuff, and so I think it's important, um, to give them that confidence and that responsibility to then be like, okay. So here's, you know, if my room, my own, here's how I want it to be, here's how I want it to feel, um, here's how I want it to look, and so kind of giving them just that opportunity to have a conversation about it might be helpful. Uh, I guess I'm curious, like have you like what are? Have you had conversations with your kids about the basement or about just like stuff in general in your home, like what's?
Christina Kohl:well, what just came up for me was um, so my older son, he just re reorganized his room, you know. So he's, you know, put the bed in a different place and set up his computer monitor and a desk in a different place, so it was more functional for him, and he left his trophies from his younger years in the hallway and they were there for a while. I do have to say they have since moved to the basement. But my question for him is like well, which of these trophies are meaningful to you? Like, which ones would you want to keep? And the little ones, like the participation ones, when you're like five and you're on a soccer team or something. He's like yeah, I don't care about those, those can go. But the Boy Scout trophies, where they have the Pinewood Derby with the derby race cars, he won first for his division and second for the whole pack. And he's like I want to hold on to those, but not in my room. I'm like okay, so yeah, we've had some of those conversations. And then, like this, you know more from like high school, there's a couple of trophies from then as well.
Christina Kohl:Um, and so my husband was talking about like, because we are like planning. It's, you know, another month or so away, but like digging into the basement one little section at a time. But he's like you know, we've got these bins, these big black bins. What if we have one for each kid and they can put their memory things, you know, like those trophies, the Boy Scout things, because they're derby cars. I'm like, well, it'd be so cool when they're young, when they become dads, and they have a scout that does the derby stuff. It's cool. I've seen other dads do that. At our events, they'll bring their old car that they made and it's just kind of I don't want to throw it away, but yet it doesn't need to be on display either. So that's kind of what we've been talking about in our household is having these bins and letting the kids make those decisions of what's most important to them and knowing that this box would go with them. So it can only be so big.
Melina Kane:I love that you created a container, because containers are amazing, and I think I think the question, especially when your kids, you know they're older, you can have that conversation of really having discernment. Like here's your container, here's whatever size that is, know that you can put whatever you want in here, but then there's a limit, like if we go outside this, then we really have to have some conversations of like, do we need another container or are there some things in here that, like you, value more than others and that we can release some of these other things? But I think an important question to ask yourself and you know for your to ask your kids, to ask yourself, like when, when it's time for you know to give this container back to my children, whatever it is, if you're the one that's kind of making those decisions without kind of inviting them into the conversation, like is this something that they really would like to? Like schlep around with them Like, would they like, when they open this, are they going to be super excited to see all the things in here, or is it things that they're like? Why did? Why did mom keep this? Like what's the point? Like I don't really want to see my report cards, cool, that sounds great, but you know like it's nothing that's meaningful to them. So I think what you're doing is great no-transcript, because I feel like a lot of times parents tend to hold on to things and I mean they could be rooms of things, right, like a whole room full of memorabilia and then you know you give it to your child and they're like I don't, I don't even want all this stuff.
Melina Kane:Like you know, like most of the stuff doesn't mean anything to me. It means something to you, so you kept it because it was meaningful to you and those stories and those treasures. And so I think, if that's the case, then make your own little container. If you really like, if you just cannot part with something, make your own little treasure container. I don't make it a please, don't make it a whole room, because that's that's just a lot, but make it a container for you that these are the things that, like gosh, you just want to hold on to and just think, like it's like their levy, like their stuffed animal. You're like I just can't part with this. It's going to go in the box that's in there that you can take out, and I encourage you to take out. That's the thing is like.
Melina Kane:A lot of times we create these containers, which in itself is a brilliant idea, but then we never go and take time to look at these items. So I think it's important to create like a little joy day, like make it it could be rolled into part of their birthday. It could be part of, you know, if they celebrate Christmas, pick, pick, whatever day of the year or multiple days of the year that you'd like to do, but make it like a joy day where you get to take out it's like your treasures and you could take out and look at some of your treasures and think about them and talk about them. Um, I think that's a really like fun idea to bring into it, where it's like they're just not stored away and they just don't collect dust.
Christina Kohl:Yeah, I love that. And this container idea. It's right now, it's an idea. It's not a reality yet but it's something that will, you know, I think, be working on over the next couple of months, particularly as we clean up the basement Like they're going to. We're not going to throw their stuff away without them being a part of that decision and we'll take a little at a time because it's way too much. But when you mentioned container, it just light bulbs are going off and I've heard this concept before. But my basement is a really big container and that's why it's been able to get out of control, stay out of control, because the container is so big and now we're going to be when we finish it, we have to empty it, to build anything down there. So that container that we've been putting off is, you know, we're going to have decisions to make and we do have our ski gear down there, some of our camp gear We've got, you know, wine storage and you know there's things we're not just going to throw away. But yeah, the size of the container is is what we will fill, right.
Christina Kohl:Um, but I love, love, love the idea of a joy day and bringing those things out, like I've. I've had my daughter's baby dolls from when she was one or two, and we have. We got her a, um, a my twin. I don't know if those are still popular, but you send in a picture of your kid and you fill out this form like you know, this color, eyes and freckles and curly red hair and all of that and they make a doll that looks it's custom made, that looks like your kid. Well, we're not gonna get rid of molly. That's, that's my daughter's twin doll. Molly is not going anywhere, um, but molly could go in a container in one spot, not just like an area in the basement, but like in one spot. That is, that is my daughter's abby's. And what a beautiful idea of a joy day to go visit molly once a year, because I don't know when the last time is we've had eyes on molly. It's when we're moving other stuff around, looking for the ski bibs to get rid of, you know. So I love making it more of a. I mean the joy, but to cherish it. If we're keeping it, let's actually enjoy it and not just let it collect dust.
Christina Kohl:And then something else, melina, that you said. So I think, like, where did I get this from. Well, my mom was a collector of things and there was a box. I was looking for something else in the basement and there's a box. I pulled down, didn't recognize it. Well, it's one that my mom had given me, however, long ago.
Christina Kohl:And I open it up and it has mine and my brother's report cards. I'm like, do I care? Do I need this? Because they were on a piece of paper back then with you know the ones.
Christina Kohl:One, two, three was like the grading system when elementary school and you know, maybe a little note from the teacher, you know, and it's like, okay, like I got, it was fun for a day, but I think I can, and I didn't throw them out yet and it had like a bunch of our artwork from being kids. I took a couple of pictures and sent them to my brother, cause it's his stuff too, but he doesn't want it and I that's the first time I've looked at it and I'm in my 50s, um, and seeing my elementary report cards was like why do we have this? I won, I didn't even know I had it, you know, I forgot. And two, and it's not something I'm going to do on a joy day to go look at, so that can go. Maybe I'll go find that box today and just go ahead and say goodbye to it.
Christina Kohl:So yeah, it's interesting the things that we hold on to, and I love the idea of if I've, as a parent, had been holding on to what I think is important to my kid, to have my child be part of that decision, even if they're young. But you know, and as they get you know, as they mature, they can make you know like, why are we keeping this? I don't, I don't need this anymore, please let it go. And if it's something like, oh, but it's important to me, then it goes in my memory box not my kid's memory box.
Melina Kane:Well, and you brought up a good point that I think when we invite conversation, we invite them into. You know what's meaningful to us, what do we want to keep, whether it's your memory box or theirs? A lot of times when, like, for instance, you saw those report cards, I imagine a little bit of you. The reason you didn't this is just an assumption. The reason why you didn't initially just completely throw them away was because you get it, gave you pause. You're like well, these were important to my mom I don't know about. Like I don't, I don't feel right about just impulsively throwing them away, like I need to think on this a little bit. So that's the other part is like we don't think about, like the things that we hold onto are then going to have to be decisions for our children to make calls on, and there's a lot of emotion because they they, you know we have hopefully cultivated really great relationships with our children that, like they, they don't want to disrespect us either and and just throw out everything. Um, so it, it creates a little bit of this, this tension within themselves of like, well, I, you know, I don't know what to, I can't make these decisions right now, like there's probably a lot of emotional attachment that comes with even making decisions of like throwing out the things that don't mean anything to them, but it meant something to us, so there's that too.
Melina Kane:So, again, the more conversation you can bring into it, I think, the better it is.
Melina Kane:And even when you get to go through your treasure box and you can have conversations with them about, like this is why I kept this, like this is why this is meaningful to me, when they do get that box someday, then they know, they know everything that's in there was meaningful to you.
Melina Kane:They heard about it, they saw it, and then they can make a little bit more of informed, educated decision of like, okay, do I still want to keep this box Because everything in here was precious to my mom, yes or no? Or there's some things that we can like whittle down, whatever that looks like. But I think there's less guilt associated with that when they are then part of that conversation to get to see and hear, because really it's really it's those memories, it's those stories. It's not the stuff. The stuff just triggers those thoughts and memories. That's really what it is. So they have them. It's just the stuff that triggers all that in your brain, like there's file cabinets all in your brain. When you bring something out, then like oh, I remember that and that's what feels, you know the warm and fuzzies Right when then you see it.
Christina Kohl:Like the Pinewood Derby trophy that my son has.
Melina Kane:It's not so much the trophy as it is the memory that it evokes. Yes, absolutely, yeah, exactly exactly, and I think that's great. Keep the stories, not the stuff. I think that's a great bumper sticker. Um, and you know another thing.
Melina Kane:I just kind of encouragement for you as you're going through your stuff in the basement like create spaces, whether it's on the wall or vertically in shelves, where you can display some of this stuff or other places in your home, like I see that beautiful bookshelf behind you. You know that's great places for trophies, christina. You know, like those derby trophies or things like that, like the things that you find that you're like I don't want to let these go. These are treasures to me. I bet you can find homes for them, where then you can see them every day? Maybe not the derby car, maybe that'd be like my little bit like harder to like display somewhere. But there's probably a few things that you could display.
Melina Kane:But again, just like, have that memory and even even like a crazy idea is like rotate some of them out, like here's the container when you have that joy day. Be like you know what, maybe see if I can find a place for this right now, replace something else that maybe isn't so meaningful and put that out instead and then get, give it a little air, a little showtime. You know those are great conversation starters as well, and so I think there's a lot of ways that you can still honor the items and still bring them into your home, especially if they're really cool keepsakes like that, because then again, it's just, it's sweet memories, it evokes good feelings. And think about it like if you were displaying all the things that give you good feelings, like that's amazing, versus them being stuck in a container. Right, we all need, we all need some extra joy and lightness in our day, right, yeah, yeah.
Christina Kohl:That's great advice, cause, yeah, I can. On that bookshelf you're pointing out, I can easily put a couple other trophies back there. I do like the idea of you. You know, maybe once a month I can rotate a different one on display or something, and then it's a conversational piece too. Oh, this is beautiful, love it. Um, and to do it in a way that's not cluttering up the clean areas of the house is the challenge yeah, yeah, yeah, it's just it's.
Melina Kane:I think of it. It's like a if design-wise it's a little difficult, like one-in-one-out kind of thing. It's like you know, I'm going to replace this one thing with this one item, or, you know, if there's a little extra space and things like that, you can make it work. You can make it work.
Christina Kohl:Yeah, yeah, this is beautiful. So a container Don't let the container be too big. And use that container as a joy day to be like actually looking and engaging with your objects that are really memories not just stuff, but the memories that they evoke and then bringing out some of those choice pieces on display and rotate those so that you can actually enjoy them on display and rotate those so that you can actually enjoy them. That makes a lot of sense, instead of just having that comfort knowing they're safe, they're here but you're not enjoying them, and you don't have to wait once a year to open the box. So these are all amazing tips, thank you, and very practical.
Christina Kohl:Well, melina, this has been amazing. Thank you for all the tips. You've really enlightened me on all of this and I feel a lot more confident about all of these decisions that I have to make in cleaning up and organizing things and I'm sure the listeners are learning a lot too. And especially the joy day Don't just put it away in a box. Get it out on your birthday and enjoy it and put it on display. So we're putting a lot of this into practice, thank you so much. And put it on display. So we're putting a lot of this into practice. Thank you so much. So how can people connect with you, like if they want to know more, like what opportunities are there?
Melina Kane:if they want to get some support from you. Oh sure, no. Thanks for asking, christina, and this was such a fun conversation. So I'm actually going to be offering a three, three day challenge in January 15th. So January 15th we're going to go over little, small spaces, everyday spaces, but small spaces, and so you put that in the show notes. But it's three days. It should take you 30 minutes or less each day and I have it just kind of mapped out for you. We're going to go through your entryway, your nightstand and your desk space, so everyday kind of use spaces. We're going to declutter it, we're going to organize it and you can ask me any questions. I'll go live for 30 minutes every day and answer any questions people have. But that's another fun way to do it too.
Christina Kohl:And this is a free challenge, like you just.
Melina Kane:Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, just for just for January. A lot of times over the holidays right, we are inundated with all of this stuff. I mean me too, like even with you know, even with my house being organized, it's like it's just, it's just a free for all and I just let it go. I, I, you know, elsa, I just let it go and then, knowing, like in January, like there's a reset that's coming For me. This is a nice way to support people, like if you're just overwhelmed from the holidays of all this stuff in your home, like here's just a nice easy reset. You're getting some reps, you're understanding how the process works, you're getting some insight and so that hopefully then you can take this into other areas of your home too.
Christina Kohl:Perfect. And so if a New Year's resolution for those of you that make resolutions is to get organized, this is a great way to kick that off is Melina's three-day challenge to get those three spaces tackled and start making progress, which then becomes a habit, and at least for me, I notice it. It's kind of a domino effect, like I want to keep going. So that's a great way to kick off that resolution or goal for the year.
Melina Kane:So I'd love for anybody to join me It'd be good.
Christina Kohl:Yeah, I'll be signing up and we'll have the link in the show notes along with the link to the quiz. Well, melina, thank you so very much for joining me today and sharing all of your wisdom and insights and, yeah, I'm excited to put it into practice.
Melina Kane:I know this is so fun. Thanks, christina, and I can't wait to hear about your basement, like I mean, yeah, I'll keep you updated.
Christina Kohl:Thank you, thanks. I appreciate you too. Have a good day everyone. That's it for this week's episode. We'll talk to you next time. Thank you so much for listening today. I hope this episode hit home for you and, if you haven't already, be sure to connect with me on LinkedIn and say hello so I can personally thank you for listening. Until next time, remember, your story is uniquely your own, and your next chapters are ready to begin.