Her Next Chapters

90. Rejection (job search or otherwise) reframed as redirection

• Christina Kohl

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Rejection hurts. But what if it’s actually redirecting you toward something better?

In this episode, I share a personal story about the time I lost what I thought was my dream home—and how that painful “no” made space for an even better “yes.” It’s a reminder that rejection isn’t always the end of the road. Sometimes, it’s a protective nudge toward something more aligned.

Whether you're facing job search setbacks, supporting your kids through disappointment, or just feeling the sting of something not going your way, this episode offers a gentle but honest perspective on how to process rejection without getting stuck in it.

We’ll talk about:

  • Why “rejection is redirection” has become a guiding mindset for me
  • How to honor your feelings while staying open to new possibilities
  • What this means for career returners, especially when job applications go silent

If you’re in the messy middle of your next chapter, this conversation will help you reframe rejection as a sacred detour—not a dead end.

Ready to shift your perspective? Hit play—and let’s talk about what might be waiting for you on the other side of that closed door.

(And if you’ve been facing job search rejection and you're ready for support, my Career Comeback Accelerator opens this September. This 8-week group experience is designed to help you relaunch or pivot your career with confidence and clarity. Join the waitlist to get first access and a special discount. 

Grab the Free Strengths-First Resume Template - it's perfect for anyone in career transitions, whether with a long career gap, a career pivot, or just ready for a change.
Want to chat about your career goals? Schedule a free call HERE.
Send me an email ---> christina@hernextchapters.com
Connect with me on LinkedIn ---> www.linkedin.com/in/kohlchristina





Christina Kohl:

Hi and welcome to Her Next Chapter's podcast. I'm your host, Christina Kohl. I'm a mom of three and soon to be an empty nester. I'm also a certified HR pro who restarted my career after being a stay-at-home mom for over a decade. I created this podcast to connect with moms who have an empty nest on the horizon and are wanting to redefine their identity outside of motherhood, which might include a job search. On this show, we'll have raw conversations about our ever-changing roles as moms. We'll hear from women who restarted their careers and share tips for a job search after a career break. So if that's you, you're in the right place friend. L et's get started.

Christina Kohl:

Hi, everyone, and welcome to this week's episode of Her Next Chapters. As always, I am so honored to have you join me. Whether you're walking the dog, folding your laundry, maybe driving around town, running errands, I am just so thrilled that you've chosen to take the time to listen in. And this week I want to talk about something that is really universal. Whether you are in a job search, or you are human, or you're a parent parenting your kids through some challenges rejection. I want to talk about rejection because we all experience it and I was on a call the other day coaching someone and we were talking about rejection and how hard it is. You know, you turn, submit so many resumes, so many applications, you finally get the interview and even, like, go through two or three rounds of interviews. You finally get the interview and even, like, go through two or three rounds of interviews only to get rejected. And not only rejected but no feedback, just rejected. And it's hard. I'm not going to lie, it is hard. I'm not going to sit here and tell you, oh, it's just part of the game and just, you know, keep your chin up and keep going. It's hard and rejection is a way for us to practice and develop our resilience muscles. Okay, so that is um kind of the end game.

Christina Kohl:

But before we get there and again, whether it's a job search, a relationship, um house purchase you know something that you really wanted that didn't turn out. It is okay to sit with those negative feelings and feel them, because if you're just going to be like someone's telling you like, oh, just get over it, don't worry, the next thing's coming, don't worry, it's fine, the next good thing's coming. But if it's something you really wanted and you started planning your life around, whether it's the job, like, oh my gosh, I'm going to be working with these great people, I know what my commute is going to be, I know what I'm going to be doing. I'm so excited and you start creating a life around that and then, poof, it evaporates. Or maybe it's.

Christina Kohl:

You put an offer on a house and you're so excited because it's the house, it is the perfect neighborhood. It so excited because it's the house, it is the perfect neighborhood, it's the best schools and it's going to have room for a garden. You envision your whole life there. You tell this whole story and then somebody comes in with a better offer or a cash offer and the house goes away. Or I'm sure you can remember times when you thought you met the perfect person. They are your person, they are your person. They are your person for the rest of your life. You've got everything all figured out and they break up with you. Or maybe this has happened to your child. Or the dream school right, the dream college is the one, the place they want to be, and they get the rejection letter.

Christina Kohl:

So, whether it's our own feelings, our own rejection or someone that we care about, it is part of life, it is part of being human and here is how I help myself, my clients and my kids navigate through that. The first thing is just to honor it, to feel those feelings of sadness, despair, disappointment, frustration, anger, all of it, because if you don't, I'm telling you they're still there and they're going to back up on you and it's going to impact how you show up for the next opportunities. So, not to dwell on those negative feelings, but experience them, process them, let them get through your system and, if it helps you to journal about it, to write about it, to talk to a therapist, talk to a friend, talk to your dog, whatever it is, process that, the loss, because it is. It's a loss, feeling rejected. It stings, it hurts, especially when there's no rhyme or reason. If it's a heartache, why did they break up with me? What did I do wrong? How can I fix it If it's losing?

Christina Kohl:

I guess that example I gave of you put an offer on a house and they accepted it and then someone else comes in and steals it away from you. I've had that happen and I'll tell you about that really quick. There was a house, our dream house. We found it. It's about 20 miles outside of town and it was on acreage, had five acres of land and the floor plan was amazing. We just fell in love with it. We put an offer on it, but it was contingent upon us selling our current house. And someone came in with a cash offer on our dream house and we had two days to respond, two days to try to sell our house and we couldn't do it and we didn't want to be stuck with two mortgages. And so we just we couldn't do it. That house was gone. We still drive by it every now and then when we're out in that part of town. But here's the thing had we moved there, our entire friend group would people we wouldn't know today. The beautiful schools that my children have gone to and graduated from wouldn't have been our homeschools. The teachers, the relationships, the friendships, the sports teams, the scouting groups, all would have been different from that 20 miles difference. Because, even though we thought that was our dream house, it wasn't the right one for us. And I kid you not.

Christina Kohl:

After we lost that contract, it was about two months later that I got a job working for get this, a home builder, and a home builder that had great benefits for their employees to buy a house. And when I was visiting, I worked in human resources and I was out of one of our job sites, which was a model home. We were waiting to talk to an employee and I was with the vice president of sales, and while we're waiting for the employee, she was busy with a client. I said, you know, hey, ken, show me around. I haven't seen the models yet. I've only been there for a couple months. And so we walked through the models and the second house he showed me.

Christina Kohl:

I'm like, oh my gosh, this is the floor plan of the dream house that we lost, but better. And he's like well, you know, we've got them for sale. I said, yeah, but you guys don't have acreage. You know we want to be on an acreage. He's like have you seen Hidden Point? No, I didn't know that we had homes on acreages. Well, we did. And you know, that's where I'm recording from right now is that house. We had it built and again, had that rejection not happened and we lived in what we thought was our dream house in Franktown, colorado, we would have had very different experiences, very different friendships, very different education, just very different and not bad, just very different.

Christina Kohl:

But I do believe that that rejection came because something better was waiting for us, and that's the key of how to face rejection. So, yes, let yourself be sad, frustrated, angry, experience it all, but don't stay with those emotions. Let them move through you. Don't hold on to them. You got to process them. Let them move through you. Don't hold on to them, you got to process them. Let them move through you and then you can focus on the redirection part of it.

Christina Kohl:

So what I had shared on the coaching call this last week or so with the person I was coaching was that rejection is redirection, and I thought that was a phrase everyone had heard. She's like no one ever heard that before, thank you. And so I wanted to add toirection, and I thought that was a phrase everyone had heard. She's like no one ever heard that before, thank you. And so I wanted to add to that as well. I thought after the call I'm like, oh, I wish I had shared this part with her.

Christina Kohl:

If you are spiritual, rejection is God's protection, so let that sit in. Not only is it rejection, redirection, but it's also protection, because that wasn't right for you and we don't see the whole picture sometimes, right, when we're living it day by day. We don't see the whole picture. It's not until we can look back and go, oh, now I see why that didn't turn out. Whether it was a relationship, a big decision, career, a job, whatever it is, it's not until we have hindsight that we can see and be grateful for that rejection, to understand that something better was waiting for us. So again, whether it's yourself or your child or a loved one or friend that is navigating rejection, just know that it is redirection, that that opportunity wasn't the right one for you, and I know that stings in the moment, but hopefully the example of that house that we didn't get is a good example of how redirection can open the door to the right place, to the right situation, the right relationship, the right job. When you have hindsight, it's a whole lot easier to see. So the next time you get a rejection whether it's being ghosted by an employer that you've applied to, or maybe you've gone through all the interview rounds and you thought this is your job and it didn't happen Know that it is a redirection, because something better is waiting for you. It's okay to experience the sadness, frustration, anger. Get it all out and then be open to the beautiful opportunity that is meant for you.

Christina Kohl:

Okay, and one of my mentors that I listened to her name is Keisha Getmerry her podcast. She just ended it, but it's Empower Her Podcast. If you want to go take a listen. She's got like 600 something episodes she talks about it's either this or something better, okay. So if you can enter into things with that type of mentality when you're applying for jobs, interviewing whatever it is that you want, it's either this or something better. Having that outlook and belief at the beginning helps take the sting a little bit when the rejection inevitably happens.

Christina Kohl:

Right, because we don't get everything that we want, that we think we want or think we need. Right, it's not always. It doesn't always work out the way that we plan. So it think we want or think we need right, it's not always. It doesn't always work out the way that we plan, so it's either this or something better. Rejection is redirection. Rejection is God's protection. All right, well, I hope those insights are helpful to you as you are navigating different changes in your life, as well as helpful in how to talk to your kids, spouse, friends about rejections they might be facing. All right, that's everything for this week. My friends, have a wonderful day and I will talk to you next time.

Christina Kohl:

Hey friends, I just want to hop back in really quickly.

Christina Kohl:

If you have been facing a lot of job search rejection whether it's submitting tons of resumes and not getting any interviews, or getting the interviews and not getting the offers if you are ready to get back in the game, go back to work, pivot to something new.

Christina Kohl:

If you are ready to master your job search and land a job that you love, I am opening up my group program again, the Career Comeback Coaching Program.

Christina Kohl:

It's a more affordable option than one-on-one coaching and you'll go through a small cohort with other women and it's eight weeks long. It's going to be starting up again in September. I'm opening up the waitlist now so that you can be among the first ones to know when the doors are open, and there'll be a sweet little discount for you too. So if you are interested in that, I'm going to put in the show notes the link so that you can sign up for the waitlist for the career comeback coaching. All right, I hope to see you there and I'm excited to help you land a job that you love. Thank you so much for listening today. I hope this episode hit home for you and, if you haven't already, be sure to connect with me on LinkedIn and say hello, so I can personally thank you for listening. Until next time, remember, your story is uniquely your own, and your next chapters are ready to begin.