Her Next Chapters

101. Asking for Help (and Knowing When to Invest in It)

• Christina Kohl

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If you’ve ever told yourself, “I should be able to figure this out,” this episode is for you.

I’ve been there, too—trying to do it all on my own because I can. But sometimes, doing everything ourselves comes at the cost of time, energy, and peace of mind. In this episode, I’m sharing why asking for help can feel so uncomfortable, how to recognize when it’s time to reach out, and how to know when investing in support is actually the smartest move you can make.

I’ll walk you through how to spot the moments when going solo is holding you back and how to reframe help as an investment, not an expense.

You’ll learn:
 ✅ Why we resist asking for help (and the myths we tell ourselves)
 ✅ How to recognize when it’s time to stop doing it alone
 ✅ What to consider before investing in professional or personal support
 ✅ Everyday examples of help we already pay for—without hesitation
 ✅ How investing in help can accelerate your progress and peace of mind

By the end, you’ll see that asking for help isn’t weakness—it’s wisdom.
And sometimes, the best investment you can make… is in yourself.

  • Want to chat about your career goals? Schedule a free call HERE.
  • Send me an email ---> christina@hernextchapters.com

Connect with me on LinkedIn ---> www.linkedin.com/in/kohlchristina

Grab the Free Strengths-First Resume Template - it's perfect for anyone in career transitions, whether with a long career gap, a career pivot, or just ready for a change.






Christina :

Hi, and welcome to our next chapter's podcast. I'm your host, Christina Kohl. I'm a mom of three and soon to be an empty nester. I'm also a certified HRO who restarted my career after being a stable mom for over a decade. I created this podcast to connect with the ones who have an empty nest on the horizon and are wanting to redefine their identity outside of motherhood, which might include a job search. On this show, we'll have long conversations about our ever-changing roles as moms. We'll hear from women who restarted their careers and share tips for job search after a career break. So if that's you, you're in the right place, friend. Let's get started.

Christina :

Hi friends, and welcome back to her next chapters. Today's episode is all about something most of us probably aren't very good at. Asking for help. And even more specifically, knowing when it's worth investing in help. So I want to set the scene. I've been thinking about this a lot lately because I've been in the middle of switching email providers. This is the system that I use for my newsletter, my landing pages, and a lot of the behind-the-scenes tech that keeps my business up and running. My old provider raised prices by 260%, so more than two and a half times more than what I've been paying. So I found a new one that costs less for the whole year than three months on my current plan. It's a total win until I had to transfer everything over. It's a new system, a new dashboard. It's like learning a new language. And I caught myself saying, if I figured the last one out on my own, I can do this too. And technically, I can. But after hours of frustration already, I've realized something. It's not about whether I can do it, it's about whether I should do it without help. So when I did it before, I had many months. I wasn't publishing a newsletter yet. And I was just kind of growing things organically as I went. And now I need to replace all of that all at once. And it's been a lot. And I'm at the point where I'm realizing that I need help. I need to do it faster. I need to have better quality than what I could create while I'm learning. And that's going to take paying someone to do it for me.

Christina :

And this realization has inspired today's topic because I think so many of us do the same thing in all kinds of areas of life. We don't ask for help. And why is it so hard to ask for help? Well, for one, we live in a world and a culture that celebrates independence. We're told to figure it out, to work harder, to be resourceful. And as moms and professionals and helpers, it's what we do. We're the ones everyone else comes to for advice or support. So asking for help can feel like a weakness when it's actually a strength.

Christina :

So here are some of the most common reasons that I think we resist help. First of all, we think we should be able to do it ourselves. And maybe you've built a whole identity around being capable and reliable. You get things done. You've always figured it out. And then here's another one that I think, oh, I gotta raise my hand. This is me. We believe we can do it better or faster. You probably have said this before. I know I have. It's just easier if I do it myself. And a spoiler, that phrase keeps us stuck. And it also doesn't allow people around us to step in and grow in their own ways. Um, because not everything that we ask for help means that we're paying for help, right? It might be asking our spouses, our partners, our kids, our coworkers to chip in and help on things. And so by just by knowing it's just easier to do it myself, is it? Is it really easier when you've got 10 different things that are number one priority? Can you get it all done? Yeah, that phrase keeps us stuck. And then another thing that keeps us into the I could do it myself type of mode is that we don't want to spend the money. And we tell ourselves, it's not that big of a deal, or I'll figure it out later. When really we're avoiding investing in something that could make life so much easier. But here's the truth: asking for help doesn't mean you're incapable. It means you're wise enough to know where your energy is best spent. And so then I want to like ask the question how to know when it's time to ask for help.

Christina :

How do you know when it's time to stop doing it all alone? Well, here's a few signs. This obvious this one is obvious. It's not getting done. That project, decision, or goal keeps showing up on your to-do list, your wish list, but it never actually gets crossed off. And here's another really key indicator of when it's time to invest and help. You don't have the expertise. You could try to figure it out, but it would take triple or even quadruple of the time. Someone else could do it in. That sounds like a good trade, right? Time to invest in someone else to do it if they could do it that fast and free you up to do other things. And then here's one you can you could do it, but it drains you. You finish it feeling exhausted or resentful instead of satisfied. Okay, that's me with this tech project. Oh my gosh, I need help because it is draining me like oh, I just want it done. Just want it done. And it's okay if someone else does it. And then here's one, another one you've tried before. So you've been doing it yourself, and it's still not working. That is a big clue that you might need help or a new approach. And then finally, it keeps falling to the bottom of the list. That's your brain's way of saying this isn't something I'm wired or willing to do alone. Sometimes the most productive thing we can do is admit this isn't my zone of genius, and get help from someone whose it is.

Christina :

Now let's talk about the next level: investing in help. There's a big difference between getting help for free and choosing to invest in support, expertise, or accountability. When we invest in help, it's usually because we want one of three things to get results faster, to get them with less stress, or to get them done right the first time. Think about it like this: you're not just spending money, you're buying back time, energy, and peace of mind. So, how do you know when it's worth the investment? Ask yourself, what's the return on investment if I get help? And what's the cost of continuing to do it on my own? So here's just a few examples. The job search. If hiring a coach or investing in a program helps you land a job months sooner, that's not an expense. That's a paycheck coming in sooner. Health goals. If working with a trainer or joining a class keeps you consistent, the ROI is better health, energy, and confidence. That's worth an investment. And your taxes are finances. If paying an accountant prevents a costly mistake, it pays for itself. And then life or mindset coaching. If support helps you find clarity and calm during a big transition, that is a return you can't measure in dollars.

Christina :

Here's the reality though, and here's the funny part. We already invest in help all the time. We just don't call it that. You probably pay someone to cut your hair, groom your dog, file your taxes, teach your child piano lessons, maybe even deliver your groceries, clean your house, fix your car. We have no problem outsourcing those things. So why do we hesitate to invest in help that moves us forward personally or professionally? Why do we see getting our dog groomed as a necessity, but getting our resume reviewed as an extra? It's worth thinking about.

Christina :

So a few quick examples from my own life. I mentioned earlier my email platform challenge that I'm dealing with. It reminded me that even when I can do something myself, it doesn't mean I should. So that's on my list this week is to be finding someone who can do this and do it with me, help me just to get it done. And then another one, when I was returning to the workforce after my 13-year career break, I spent over a year and a half trying to do it all myself, applying here and there, feeling stuck, starting and stopping countless times. And then when I finally invested in a coach, everything changed. We met every couple of weeks, I had accountability, took the action steps I needed, and within months I had a job offer. It wasn't just about what the coach taught me, it was about being invested. When we invest, we show up differently. And that lesson is carried over even to other areas of my life like Pilates. So maybe you guys can relate. I've had a $15 a month gym membership for years. And guess what? I hardly ever go. But when I paid $60 for six Pilates sessions, I showed up for every single one. And if you do Pilates, you know that that was a bargain. They're normally around $30 a session. But even with the $10 mark, I showed up. And now I'm at a studio where I pay $109 a month for four classes, and you better believe I show up for those. Because when we pay, we pay attention. When we invest, we commit.

Christina :

So this week I want you to think about this. Where in your life are you doing it all on your own? Because you think you should be able to figure it out. And where could you ask for help or even invest in help and make life a little easier? Maybe it's in your home, your health, your finances, or your career. Maybe it's that one thing that keeps sitting on your to-do list untouched. Remember, asking for help isn't giving up control. It's choosing progress over perfection. It's choosing peace over pride. And if one of those areas for you is your career, your job search, your resume, your interview prep, that's exactly where I can help. You don't have to figure it out alone. Together we can create a plan to move you forward faster and with more confidence. I'll drop a link in the show notes where you can book a consultation call to learn more about my one-on-one coaching, resume reviews, and interview prep sessions. Because sometimes the best investment you can make is in yourself.

Christina :

Thanks for tuning in, friends. And if you needed a sign that it's okay to ask for help, this is it. That's it for this week's episode. I'll talk to you next time. Thank you so much for listening today. I hope this episode hit home for you. And if you haven't already, be sure to connect with me on LinkedIn and say hello. Like importantly, thank you for listening. Until next time, remember your story is unique your own people. And your next chapter is already to begin with.